Mindfulness meditation: My top 5 techniques for 2017!

Don’t you just love mindfulness meditation.

Its one of the few things I actually do enjoy doing, not only because it had great mental (and physical) health benefits, but it actually feels…you know, damn good!

It’s also good because once you get used to it, by doing it daily, it quickly dawns on you that you are not your mind. The mind is a tool, not something that is fully you. You are the awareness behind this tool. Pretty cool, huh?

It is peace on demand.

Literally.

All you have to do is to find a quiet place…take a seat…and off you go.

And best of all, it is completely free.

There is no subscription or monthly fees to pay. There is no waiting around, 7-10 days, hoping that the weather is not going to affect your service.

It is the one thing that, come rain or shine, that is available to you, 24/7.

There could be a big power cut, no matter.

You could be broken and be on the street…you could do it still then.

You could even be in the middle of an argument, and still find a quick way at trying to be mindful, which can even help diffuse the situation.

Being mindful is the tool that helps things work in your favour. It has helped me in my life, and if you are reading this post, chances are that it has helped you.

The weird thing about mindfulness, is that it quickly teaches you to use your conscious as it was intended, as that of a tool to help create the experience of your life, not as something that you identify yourself with.

Essentially, you use it as a gateway (which is what most spiritualists would readily admit).

So, without further ado, let me bring to you the best ways one can be mindful, heading into 2017.

Listening to your heartbeat

This is a great one to start out with, if you have difficulty in focusing on yourself.

Just take a few deep breaths, lie down, and focus on your heart beat. You will find that after a short while, there will be about 3 surges of pulses, going around the various areas of your body.

By noticing your blood pulses, you will become more present and will feel a peace in your body.

Of course, if you want to take this even further, I do recommend that you use this an an intro towards mindfulness.

Once you feel enough peace, and before your mind starts to wander, quickly go onto…

Listening to the ambient noise

I have found that, listening to the outside noise is a great way to becoming mindful.

Trouble is, listening to the ambient noise can be hard to do straight away, hence I recommend that you listen to your heart-beat first.

Use it as a platform to begin with, then try listening to the ambient noise once you get slightly mindful. This does take practice.

Of course, all this is a distraction to your conscious, which is precisely what we are trying to achieve so you can become mindful. If, however, you are unable to listen to the ambient noise that easily, you can always try…

Listening to your breathing

Ah, the good ol’ classic gem of mindfulness. Listening to your breathing has always been a bit of a classic, and it is easy to see why.

When you focus your attention to your breathing, you will become slowly present, with an additional bonus in knowing how easy it is to get stressed out (Put it this way, I’ve noticed that when I listen to my breathing, and a few negative images pop up in my mind, my breathing patter increases speed and becomes more quicker, so it is useful as a stress monitoring tool).

Listening to your breath is a good approach towards becoming mindful, and helps reduce your mind chatter.

However, sometimes, whatever you do, your mind just doesn’t want to calm down, so you can try…

Using your peripheral vision

Being serious, this does work. In a really weird way, it can be great for those folk who simply cannot turn off their imagination no matter what they do.

The trick is to gaze at the outside edges of your eyesight, that is, to use your peripheral vision.

Initially, this will feel weird (we are so trained to look at the centre of our vision). But with enough practice, you will be able to do this fairly effortlessly, enough to be able to mindfully meditate.

Using your peripheral vision is a great way to reducing your inner thoughts (you could say that you are being too distracted to think about anything else;-)

However, if you do find that this is very difficult, you can try one last trick up the sleeve, which is,

Verbalising it to taming it.

Ok, I have to give Dr. Dan Siegel credit for this one, as this is an absolute brilliant technique in helping one to become mindful.

It’s so simple, yet ridiculously effective.

All you have to do, is to verbalise to yourself (or out loud), what you are thinking about.

That’s it.

By doing this you will be, in a sense, logicalising your feeling; sort of like bringing the two hemispheres of your brain in balance.

The net result: Becoming mindful. And it can be as quick as within 60 seconds.

I tend to say the stuff that is in my mind to myself if I do find it difficult to meditate, and it works wonders.

Not only that, but if you can get yourself into a habit of doing this on a regular basis, you may find that you will develop a small habit of becoming slightly mindful throughout parts of your day as well.

It may even become fun;-)

So there you go, my top 5 ways to becoming mindful. Please feel free to give any of them a go, and let me know in the comments section what your personal favourites are.

Till next time,

Julian

 

Emotional sensitivity and the Golden Light protection method

Being sensitive isn’t what it is cracked up to be, I can assure you.

In fact, most of the time, being sensitive is more of a curse than a blessing.

You see, I was always a sensitive person even from a young age. I expressed emotion a lot, whether it was tears of sadness, or joy.

Little did I know that I was also attracting other peoples energys towards me, calling it my own…. That will be a lesson that I would finally discover later in my life.

Then something happened.

I began to grow up

I revised for my exams, and my sensitivity began to turn against me!

It was probably due to the stress…

It first began with sleep. That began to suffer. I soon found myself having later and later nights.

Once upon a time, I would be in bed by 10’ish. Now, in college, I as going to bed as late as 12! (and when doing your A-levels, that is never a good idea).

On top of that, I would also wake up at around 7 in the morning, feeling groggy, and trudging down to the canteen to have my breakfast.

Boy, was I so wazzed out in the mornings.

This would begin my insomnia, which would take another decade and a half for me to have a remote grip on…

Talk about an uphill battle!

Then, I went to work for the first time in my life after I left college, and my sensitivity took a dark turn…

No longer was it about joy, but now discipline. I had to focus and be attentive. I had to be able to meet deadlines.

I was helping customer queries on the phone in a busy environment, which is hard even for a very logical person to deal with.

This would come with obvious mental consequences

The next would be concentration, and then memory. I soon found myself forgetting even the smallest things….this made my sleep even worse, and I began finding myself withdrawing more and more.

I became irrationally bitter and angry, for almost no reason. And of course, I was in an work environment, so I couldn’t lash out at anyone.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Fast forward 10 years, and I am well and truly involved in the spiritual journey.

I meditate on a regular basis, and I try to develop love wherever possible. I was learning about the merchanics of the soul, and I was having a few out-of-body experiences.

But I still felt peoples energy’s.

And that’s a problem!

What I hadn’t realised, was that due to my emotional sensitivity, I had very thin-walls

My subconscious was easily manipulatable

This meant that I would pick up on peoples energys more quickly than other people.

Like anything in life, having a thin-walled subconscious can be both a good and a bad thing…

On the plus side, it can be a great thing, because once you have leant to use your tool, life can become more simpler and  you are able to feel emotion more easily and effortlessly.

Plus you can manifest change that little bit quicker.

It could also be argued that you could remote view and remote influence more effectively as well. (but that topic will be for another day;-). Or to put it another way, you become more proficient with your psychic abilities.

The bad news is, that if you don’t understand the subconscious, you will be buffeted around by other peoples energetics.

And that’s not good if you don’t know yourself!

You will feel like you are in hell, so please pay attention to this article, as you could benefit tremendously from it.

Because until I discovered my subconscious, I was going through that hell.

I was constantly emotional, which meant that I couldn’t focus easily either at work or at home.

This led to developing addictions.

This was until I discovered the Golden Light Protection method.

And guess what?

This changed everything

Think of the golden shield as a steering wheel of a car…

You can have the best car in the world, but if you even attempt to steer the car using the original knob (what the wheel sits on top of), you will find it hard going turning that metal cylinder.

It will rub and hurt your hand. It may even cause bleeding, especially at top speed!

Add a nice leather steering wheel, and you’ve got options.

Not only are your hands protected, but you have a greater degree of accuracy wherever you wish to drive (and leather always feels nice to touch;-).

That is how good the Golden Light is.

It’s a simple exercise, and can work with anyone, but especially those who can feel emotions very easily.

The Golden Light protection is a method I got from Gerald O’Donnell, so all credit goes to him. And I now use it as frequently as I can to help stop the negative thoughts of others (and sometimes myself) influencing my inner love and peace.

Developing your Golden Light has the following benefits to you.

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-It allows you to keep your calm when there is a lot of negativity around.

-It keeps you slightly centred/grounded, so you can think more clearly.

-You will open up your Heart Chakra, which will release more Oxytocin into your blood, which has many health benefits (and is also great for sports performance)

-It stops you from being angry, allowing you to focus on your goals and becoming more productive.

-This in turn helps you with your job, your family and even your friends, which means that you can have more fun and happy times with them.

Creating and maintaining the Golden Light is is not as difficult as it sounds, and is pretty simple to maintain.

1. To start, just take a few moments to become mindful and attentive to this moment. Take a few deep breaths and feel yourself becoming mindful, the purpose being to clear your mind and be grounded.

2. Well you feel mentally clear and very relaxed, close your eyes and imagine golden light about the size of an egg that can cover your body swirling around you in a clockwise direction.

3. Imagine this turning into a shield covering you from head to toe, and being dazzled by it golden light, as it swirls around you quicker and faster than ever before. By now, you should be able to feel your Heart Chakra opening up and feel love encompass your body.

4. Try to keep this visualization up for a few minutes, until you feel very relaxed, peace and love, and then open your eyes.

You are essentially good to go!

Every-time you feel stiffled emotionally, or you can feel the negativity of others, just quickly visualize golden threads whizzing around your body at top speed, (You can do this with your eyes open if you want) filling you up with love and peace. (It goes without saying, but don’t try this in a moving vehicle, for obvious health and safety reasons)

Needless to say that when I did this, my emotions calmed down, and I began to feel almost empowered over my emotional state.

No longer was I going to be controlled by the emotions of other people, I was going to protect myself against that.

Combining this with mindfulness meditation, I found helped me also regulate my emotional control, which was benefited by the Golden Light. If you do find that you are using your shield a lot, then it may benefit you to practice meditating on a regular basis.

Meditation can be easy for some, not so easy for others. If you do find meditating difficult, I do recommend that you check out the ARVARI courses, which not only helps you meditate, but also helps you do other great stuff with your minds eye, such as increasing your intuition. To find out more details on the ARVARI course, please click here.

Practice the Golden Light protection method as many times as you like, and let me know how you get on with it.

Till next time,

Julian.

P.S. Using Golden Light to ward of negative energys to your aura is a great way to keeping yourself calm and re-focuses your energies without being too ungrounded and emotionally lost.

Creating a shield of Golden Light is not only easy to do, but has multiple health benefits, especially if you are emotionally sensitive.

Once you can get into a routine into maintaining this Golden Light when you feel emotionally exhausted not only wards of negative energy, but you will also feel peace and love and become more focused, which means you can lead a more abundant and happier lifestyle.

Combine this with meditation, and you have a great effective power-tool to use wherever you go.

To find out about other ways for meditation and to check out the ARVARI courses, please click here.

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Insomnia, Meditation, and an Intuition-booster!

Can I tell you what really pisses me off?

Being in bed, half asleep, on Monday morning, feeling crap, and barely having had 5 hours of sleep due to insomnia.

I hate insomnia.

It’s caused some of the worst problems of my life to happen. Almost too effortlessly.

Dragging your heavy-ass out of bed,  wacking on the cold shower just to wake up your dumbass brain is bad enough.

Then you have to quickly prepare yourself by putting on some clothes and then walking to your car while it is raining outside.

You’re essentially a zombie.

You get in the car, and do your usual gratitude affirmations, in a pathetic attempt at trying to force the world to be a more merciful place…

For a while, it almost works, but then you step into the office and all hell breaks loose….and all you wanted was an extra 2 hours in bed..

Thank god for mindfulness!

Thank god for the ability to walk to my car in my morning break, and actually zone out for a few minutes, so I can actually feel the skin on my body for the first time of the day.

At times, I don’t really care for the benefits of mindfulness. Whilst its good to know, I don’t give a crap. You wanna know why?

All I want is to feel alive!

I want a reason to live, and mindfulness does just that. I want to feel that little burst of energy in my head, that almost intuitively says that life is meant to be happy.

I want to feel great, albeit for a measly second, so that I don’t feel like running out of the office like a headless chicken at the first sign of trouble…

I want my life to mean something, and that is why I love mindfulness. I don’t want to walk around on autopilot, or even worse, like a zombie.

I want to feel like sunshine.

It’s like being given a key to a brand new sports-car.

All it takes is a bit of mental effort on your part, and boom, you are inside of a little piece of heaven.

It has gadgets and fantastic leather seats. It allows you to feel really safe, warm and comfortable. Heck, it has even got a nice little drinks cabinet, so you can enjoy some of that refreshing sports drink which makes you feel alive and shine.

The world is an awesome place again;-)

For what it is worth, mindfulness is a great way to bring some zest back into your life, get some mental energy back, all by taking up just a few short minutes. And I’m not talking about sitting down with your legs crossed (unless you’re a pro).

I’m talking about making a weird, but essential, daily commitment to actually putting your body to rest, and deliberately tuning out.

Doing this on a regular basis kicks some serious ass, and your brain will love you for it!

But do you want to know what’s even better? Combining it with a second exercise to super charge your intuition.

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This is the first time I’ve ever written this, so pay close attention:

Mindfulness on its own = great.

Mindfulness + Oneness = Seriously awesome intuition!

Wanna know why?

When you become mindful, your brainwaves begin to reduce the electrical activity, allowing you to be in the mid to deep alpha range (borderline theta). This is also the range for psychic ability.

All you do, therefore, is become mindful and then when the timing is right, become at, ‘one’ with everything.

It sounds weired (I know) but let me explain in more detail, so you get to learn this awesome variation.

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First, the mindfulness bit

1. Sit down or lie down and feel your heartbeat.

2. Learn to feel the beating of your heart, and when your imagination dies down, transfer your attention to your breathing, or the outside noise.

3. As you become more relaxed, just notice any images you have, and let them pass you by.

4. After a short while, you will feel very mindful, and will even feel energy flowing into your stomach area. You will have opened your Solar Plexus Chakra (non-physical vortex).

5. Keep this up, until you feel little energy bursts in your mind, which will be your cue for step 2

And now the oneness bit (step 2)

6. After being mindful for a while, and increasing mental energy, learn to shift your attention from the noise (breathing or outside) to the blackness of your closed eyelids.

7. This takes a bit of time to get used to, but imagine you are one with the blackness. See the blackness as a part of your EGO, as something that is with your body, just as your arms and legs are. Something that you could move.

And of course, we are not just talking about any part of the balckness, but the whole lot, so you may need to use your peripheral vision while doing this.

8. Done correctly and after a short while, you may feel a deep love emanate from your Heart. What is actually happening, is that you are opening up your Heart Chakra, and feeling that, ‘connectedness’ to the multiverse.

By doing this on a regular basis will ensure that you not only improve your mindfulness skills, but also increase your intuition as well.

And this intuition will go wherever you go. You can even begin to test it, to see how well something is before you have seen it.

In the bedroom

Lets say, for example, you are trying to find a missing dollar, and you have dropped it somewhere.

You could ask yourself if you will find it in the bedroom if you go searching for it. Notice the Heart area when you ask this question. If you feel little love, or no love at all, there is a high chance that the missing dollar is not in the bedroom.

On the other hand, if you feel a decent chunk of love pouring from your Heart, there is a good chance that you will find this missing dollar.

I recently had an experience of this.

I have recently developed a stupid habit of putting all of my loose change on one of my shelves. After each weekend, I would pour loads of small change, which included 10p’s and 20p’s onto my shelf. Needless to say, it looks like one of those coin games in a casino.

I needed to find a quick £1 coin, so I was moving the coins left and right.

Couldn’t find one.

I then began to use my intuition. I simply said to myself, that I will find a £1 coin. As soon as I did this, I could feel love emanating from my Heart Chakra, which was an indication to me that I was searching in the right place.

Lo and behold, I found one. Needless to say, I felt quite excited. And the other good news, my faith had increased;-)

By practising these two exercises side-by-side will not only allow you to become better at practising mindfulness and seeing the oneness with your eyes closed, but will also allow you to develop your intuition very quickly as well, which means that you can develop your 6th sense which will help you in your daily life.

Developing your intuition while practising mindfulness can be a great way of improving other aspects of your life. However, if you find that mindfulness in and of itself is something that you find difficult to achieve, there is another way you can increase your intuition.

Gerald O’Donnell has produced 2 courses which allows you to listen with your ears to guided instructions with relaxing music, which can also improve your intuition. For more details on the ARVARI courses including my review, please click here.

Till next time

Julian

P.S. Combining oneness and mindfulness is a great way of improving your intuitive ability. Not only will it allow you to become mindful relatively quickly, it will also allow you to develop your gut instinct as well.

However, mindfulness isn’t for everyone, and sometimes you will struggle to quieten your inner chatter. You may need to be helped to become relaxed. The ARVARI courses can be a great way in order for you to become relaxed quickly. To find out more details, please click here.

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The one exercise that could change your life, and 5 steps to achieve it.

I’m going to show you something that few people know…

This one exercise helped me start my spiritual journey.

The problem is, when we talk about, ‘life changing’ stuff, people automatically shut down.

It’s not our fault. We’re trained to do it.

However, I’m going to ask you to suspend your disbelief for just a few moments, and read this article in its entirety.

Because you never know, this article could be that, ‘gem in the rough’.

This could actually be life-changing!

You see, just like you, I was very sceptical.

No… actually I was a lot worse…

I was very cynical.

Being bought up in a cynical household, I had every reason to be.

That, and the very fact that I was also brought up as Roman Catholic.

So a church-goer, who is cynical, who had almost zilch passion for life.

Great combination

On top of that, I even thought that life was a waste of time.

After all, if we are all just skin and bones, being born just to pay tax and die into nothingness, then what was the point of it all? (as you can tell, I had a lot of friends;-).

Surely there is more to life that this?

And yet, as I went to church, there was a nagging feeling that there was something I was missing, the knowing of it would change everything.

Don’t you just love statements like that as well…

I will never forget the old story of the teenagers that are driving an old banger.

As they turn down a particularly nice, tidy street, they look around.

They see all of these nice clean posh houses, with lovely sports cars in their garages…

One guy looks at the other guy and says (the now infamous line), ‘There is something that we don’t know, the knowing of which will change everything‘.

I was like that 10 years ago.

Since then, I have asked a lot of deep questions, received very surprising answers and now meditate on a regular basis due to mental clarity as well as understanding some of the health benefits.

And it all began with a simple exercise,

that took less than 5 minutes

Actually, that’s a lie…

It all, truth be told, began with listening to a voice that told me to buy a certain book (which is still available online), which THEN led me to another book which talked about this exercise.

Before I forget, let me quickly tell you a few things…

This isn’t like any other exercises that you know (only a few of you will know this one).

This isn’t about opening your chakras, you even meditating deeply (that may come later…)

Or about EFT… although that’s very useful.

And it certainly isn’t about mindfulness either (although that could be a by-product of this).

Or about a visualization type of meditation exercise…not that there is anything wrong with those (of course;-).

This is something that for a few of you, will radically change how you perceive the world!

It did for me…

…and this is coming from a former cynic!

This is how good it can be

But before I carry on, just a few words of caution…

This exercise requires just two things: open mindedness and a mirror.

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Here’s why…

Opened mindedness is always crucial when trying a new exercise.

We’re so bombarded with crap info left, right and centre when it comes to online stuff, we have no idea who or what to trust.

That’s understandable and fair…

After all, whose fault is it that we are so sceptical? (and trust me, the answer isn’t yours;-)

So we are taught early on to not only develop our inner BS indicator, but also to fine tune it and listen to it as often as we can.

If we don’t we get burned.

Simple.

Yet, every now and again, a little bit of open mindedness can go along way. This is one of those times (again, don’t believe me, but try it and see for yourself;-)

and number 2, the mirror…

Well, lets just say that you’ll find out in a few moments;-)

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Enough waffling, here’s the exercise:

1 – Find a mirror that its around head height, or one which you can hold up to your face.

We are aiming to gaze into our own eyes, as the eyes are the windows to your soul. Of course, you have probably heard that loads of times, so this time, we are going to actually experience it, for experience creates wisdom (as you are about to discover, hopefully).

2 – Look at your eyes, and gaze at the black bits in the centre, that is called the pupil.

3 – Don’t strain hard, but gaze gently for a few minutes.

4 – What you should find is a deep peace which doesn’t emanate from your Heart area (this isn’t the Heart Chakra opening up, for once) but even more deeply from your centre of being.

5 – Keep gazing softly at your pupils until you have enough peace for the day;-)

That’s it.

Easy, wasn’t it

You may find that by doing this exercise, you might feel slightly light headed and feel you are going to faint and pass out.

Don’t worry abut this, as you’ll find that you should be able to stand up to the light headedness, enough to grow strong enough to handle the peace.

I remember when I first did this.

I was sceptical that it wasn’t going to work, and was so close to not even attempt this exercise (I still remember that moment to this very day.

Thank god I didn’t talk myself out of it! I remember walking to my bathroom, and looking into my eyes and felt like I was going to pass out.

But I didn’t, and survived long enough to tell the tale;-)

The whole experience lasted just a few minutes.

That was all I needed, and I began realising that I have been told a bunch of lies.

From that moment on, my BS indicator began getting better, as I could tell what information resonated with my being, and which stuff was just manipulation.

I also invite you to do the same, and begin seeing this as another simple meditation exercise (which it is!).

Of course, if you can combine this with meditating deeply, then that is even better.

Whilst I haven’t got the expertise to teach you, I know of someone who can.

His name is Gerald O’Donnell, and he has produced 2 courses which allow you to meditate deeply than ever before.

And when I mean deep, we’re talking about brainwaves that are into the Theta and even Delta range.

Now that’s deep!

Not only that, but these ARVARI courses can also help you increase you intuition, which can help you not only in your personal life but also reduce (and in some cases, avoid) dangerous situations before you find yourself involved in them.

To find out more about the ARVARI courses and to read my review, please click here.

Till next time

Julian

P.S. Looking into your eyes is a great way to connecting to your higher consciousness, or soul.

To do this requires that you use a mirror, and gaze gently at your pupils. By doing this, you will find a deep peace emanating deep within your centre of being.

Combining this with meditating deeply can bring some profound results. To find out more information about meditating deeply, please click here.

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Have a lot of nervous energy? Here’s 6 steps to get your peace back!

I’ll never forget the time I had read about ADD…

This is going back several years, and I already began the process of deconstructing the original stories that I was told when I was a kid.

Put simply, I was told a few things when I was very young, only half were remotely true.

So you can imagine my surprise that, when I began delving deeper into my mental issues, I came across ADD and began recognising a lot of the symptoms.

Just over 9 yeas ago, I moved out and into a whole new world of living on my own and the internet. Interestingly, my journey of self-discovery also began there.

The Journey had begun!

When I wasn’t gaming or watching porn (I am a former porn addict…I know, but I’m being honest here), I would read countless articles online.

I would also read many stories on people similar to myself, who had been almost duped by some of their peers.

Put it this way, I as told when I was younger that I had Aspergers syndrome, a particular type of autism. It turned out after studying my condition, that it was more similar to the symptoms of ADD (albeit a mild form) with symptom of mercury poisoning splashed in for good measure (thanks, Thimerosal!).

This is where it gets interesting…

All of this meant that my head was always in the clouds and that I couldn’t concentrate very easily.

Not necessarily a big deal in college (although you won’t be passing that many exams), but when you go to work and you get stressed, its a whole different ball game.

You see, when you are day-dreaming, you are essentially in the alpha state, which is the state to be in for hypnosis.

To sum this up, you essentially hypnotise yourself during stressful conditions, meaning that you take on a lot of bad beliefs without even realising it.

And don’t forget, your beliefs dictate you behaviours, so you are essentially in a funny, sick system, where you can buy all the self-improvement stuff that you want, (and even understand it all) but unable to implement barely 10% of it!

And that’s not fair

To my cost, I only truly realised this nearly 10 years later, and can now recognise the point when my mind feels slushy, and I know I’m heading for a hypnotic state.

I can pretty much snap out of this alpha state, although it sometimes takes a bit of effort.

And it isn’t always when I am sitting at a desk that I can slip into the alpha state, but can be when I am sometimes out and about, talking to people (this seems to happen quite a lot when I am talking to psychologically strong minded people…it’s as if their strong minds somehow renders my weak one useless…).

The thing is, ADD affects around 4% off the population for the US alone, and looks set to increase.

It can be really difficult to do tasks, especially if you are very sensitive as there is a lot of mental chaos in you brain. Even doing something that you partially enjoy can seem like a chore.

Boredom isn’t too far away!

And I can vouch for this.

For years, I have been in an office, where intense boredom mixed with intense stress taunted my mind for over 10 years.

When I finally moved department, it was like a big thick fog had lifted. I still had some thick mist mind you (thanks to insomnia) but it wasn’t nearly so bad.

So, what was the hack that I discovered, that not only helps you emotionally calm down and re-focus but is also a great way of calming the inner chatter in your mind, so that you can mindfully meditate a lot more easily.

Quite simply, all I do is tap.

That’s it.

This isn’t EFT in case you are wondering (well the last part is, but not the main steps).

I suspected that all of my fantasying came from one thing… an over-stimulated right-hemisphered brain.

I kinda realised that if I was getting a lot of nervous energy (I have always figited, and couldn’t sit still), I realised that I had a lot of energy inside me that I couldn’t use.

I also understood that I had to simply, ‘logicalise’ this energy, to calm my inner mind down and bring the balance of energy in my brain back.

This helped me get back my mind back to focus and peace.

meditation-review

Or to put it another way, I was able to reduce the amount of imagery in my mind, by consciously moving my body, instead of subconsciously moving my body (and don’t forget, nervous energy is also an indication of an over-stimulated sympathetic nervous system).

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So what you do is this:

1– Notice the next time you are fantasying or are using a lot of nervous energy.

2– You may also notice the hidden anxiety (there will be some) and realise that your breathing is probably shallow.

3– When you notice that you are using nervous energy, you are unable to sit still, figiting around, daydreaming etc, start consciously tapping.

4– This can be done anywhere, on your body, at your desk…anywhere where you can tap without making a loud noise (best not to disturb people;-).

5– You will find that within 2 minutes, you will become more calm, more mindful, your breathing will be coming from you belly (not always, but sometimes) and you may even find that some Oxytocin will be released (feeling warm around your heart).

6– As a bonus second tip, you can use the EFT quick version, which is to try tapping your wrist with 2 fingers, as this can help the meridians disperse the nervous energy.

Tapping when you get nervous is an excellent simple and free way to reduce the brain chaos and to help steer the ship around, so to speak.

By doing this when you get nervous, you will reduce your anxiety so you can feel more at peace and be more productive with your goals, so you can lead a more happier and abundant lifestyle.

You can also combine this with your meditation practice.

Find a place to sit or lie down, and tap your fingers consciously to help reduce your inner mind imagery if you have difficulty in calming your mind down.

You will find that by doing this for a short while will allow you to achieve mindfulness that little bit more quicker, and you will be able to achieve peace more easier and effortlessly than ever before.

If you do want to find an equally easier way to meditate deeper, you can try the ARVARI courses by Gerald O’Donnell. They are a CD course which, when listened to, allow you to enter very deep states of meditation from Alpha to Delta.

If you wish to find out more details and to read my review, click here.

Till next time

Julian.

P.S. Day-dreaming most of the time can mean that you may have a symptom of ADD, especially if you have a lot of nervous energy, or that you cannot sit still. This can be disruptive in school or work, and can cause issues with your mental health and your family.

Tapping consciously can be a great way to bring mental clarity back and can help you remain calm in nervous situations. By tapping your fingers, you can help calm yourself down emotionally, bringing peace, being able to re-focus as well as making mindfulness more easier for you.

Practising meditation is another great way to help keep you focused. If you want to find out how to achieve very deep states of meditation and to find out more details on the ARVARI course, please click here.

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The Vagus Nerve as your secret weapon, and 6 steps to activate it!

I love your Vagus nerve.

It is one of the most powerful nerves in your body, yet least talked about.

And I’m not quite sure why…

Here’s the thing.

There is a good chance that you have never heard of your vagus nerve, or that you have heard of it, but have little or no knowledge about it.

There is another good chance that if you are visiting my blog, you probably have some anxiety issue of some description, and you are looking for a decent relief from it.

What if I were to tell you that your vagus nerve is the epicentre of all of your healing stories?

Or to put it another way; if you wish to begin your self-healing (and note the word begin) it all starts with your vagus nerve!

Have I lost you yet?

Good.

So, let me quickly explain what the heck the vagus nerve is all about and how, by using a simple 6 part process, can bring about quick mental peace.

Because this crap is about to get real, real quick!

What exactly is it?

As the name suggests, your vagus nerve is the only nerve to stem from your brain and touch every main organ in your body, and is your interface between your parasympathetic nervous system (feelings of calm) and sympathetic nervous system (flight-or-fight mode).

The general idea (but just to warn you, this idea is still being investigated scientifically) is that most mental illness, including some autism, is due to an over-stimulated sympathetic system (but that article is for another day).

To counter the effect of an over-stimulated sympathetic nervous system and to bring peace to the mental chaos in the human mind, one needs to find a way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

This counters the fight-and-flight response, which helps ageing!

Whilst you can’t do this directly (sorry to burst any bubbles…) you can do it directly by activating your vagus nerve…

I say directly, because in truth you will be also be activating your vagus nerve indirectly by using your breathing in a certain special way.

Stay with me here, because I’m about to show you a technique which I use personally to help activate your vagus nerve.

This also stimulates more growth hormone!

Human growth hormone does the following:

– It helps regulate muscle and bone growth, including healing fractures

– Helps increase your sex drive

– Helps with weight loss

– Helps slow the progression of illnesses that are age related

– Reduces the risk of cardio vascular disease

– Can even reduce hair loss

– And don’t forget better sleep!

Has that wet your appetite.

Thought so!

Here goes…

Now the trick to activating your vagus nerve is to breath in a certain way.

Don’t forget, your parasympathetic nervous system kicks in normally while your sleep anyway, while the sympathetic nervous system remains stable during the REM part of sleep (the REM bit, where your brainwaves are in Theta/alpha and you dream, but your body is paralysed so you don’t act out your deams).

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The type of breathing is usually variable during REM sleep, but is usually stable during deep NREM sleep.

You have to essentially pretend that you are on the verge of snoring when you are breathing, to help activate the vagus nerve.

It is no coincidence that when the tongue is flat on the floor of your mouth, this is the ideal tongue posture for singing. Singing, incidently, is another good way of activating it.

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Here goes:

1. Let your tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth. If done correctly, you should feel the back of your tongue touching the back of your teeth.

2. Using belly breathing, breath through your nose and pretend your on the verge of snoring. If you do find that you are snoring, you’re slightly over doing it.

3. You may find a slight contraction of the windpipe (i.e. it will feel like your tongue is partially in the way) so make sure you can still breath normally and that you are not stopping yourself breathing.

4. This does take a bit of practice to find this balance. You are looking for that middle ground of the back of your tongue resting on the floor of your mouth, but not too much that you are obstructing your own breathing channels.

5. Keep practising and you will find that, when done properly, a warm feeling will begin to flood your heart area (your heart chakra will be opening) and you may find that your 3rd eye may be activated.

Or to put simply, if you feel a loving, warm feeling encompass your heart, that is oxytocin being released, meaning that you are activating your vagus nerve.

6. Keep practising this until you can do this without much effort, and you will find that you will have trained yourself to use a tool that can counter some of the damaging health effects of stress from someone who is in fight-or-flight mode, but who isn’t consciously aware of this.

The beauty of using this technique, is that once you feel stress coming on you can quickly help activate your vagus nerve which will calm you down and help ward of the damaging effects of an overstimulated sympathetic nervous system response.

This can also include accelerated ageing due to the effect oxidative stress has on your Telomeres (part of your DNA…again, this will be explained in a later article;-).

When you practise this form of deep belly breathing, you will help almost manually begin the healing process, as the stimulation of the vagus nerve helps with improving memory, as well as increasing your immunity.

Stimulating your vagus nerve for stress relief is a great way of reducing stress/anxiety and depression

However, there is also an equally easier way of reducing stress and help you focus on your goals, so you can lead a more healthier, happier and productive lifestyle.

You can do this with learning and applying NLP, which also allows you to help keep your body from being overstimulated and can also help you with your goals and aspirations.

If you wish to learn more about NLP, and to learn great techniques that also involve understanding your very owns body subconscious (which is responsible for 99.9% of your behaviour), please click here to read my review on the NLP practitioners training course, by NLP trainer Michael Stevenson.

By using NLP with your vagus nerve will not only help you reduce stress and help be mentally focused, you will also be motivated so you can really go for your goals, and begin creating the life that you really want.

To find out more about the NLP practitioners Training course, please click here.

Till next time.

Julian.

P.S. Using your vagus nerve with deep breathing is a great way to reduce stress and even activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is is the same system that stimulates growth hormone that helps with growth and healing in many parts of your body.

Whilst you cannot stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system directly, you can do it indirectly, by pretending to almost snore while belly breathing.

Due to the tongue being flat against your mouth, this will cause the vagus nerve to be stimulated, bringing the required emotional change.

Using anchoring with the activation of your vagus nerve is another great way of not only reducing stress, but also to focus on your goals. Anchoring can be achieved using NLP.

If you would like to find out more information on NLP, please look into the NLP practitioners course, by clicking here.

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Struggle with Mindfulness? Here’s 5 steps to get you started!

Imagine reading about the benefits of meditation, and wanting to give it a try.

You have heard that it can do wonders for your health, maybe even reduce the effects of ageing, and wanted to give it a shot.

Maybe you just wanted to have a way to reclaim your sanity after that dreadful day at work…

Who knows…

Now imagine trying to sit down, closing your eyes, and trying to find a way to be present without much luck!

You try to focus and calm you mind down. Your mind doesn’t listen…

Your mind wanders from left to right!

You start thinking about your kids, and whether you can afford that new extension to your house.

You worry about whether Christmas is going to be expensive this year, or whether your partner is going to be made redundant…

All of these worries start flashing into your mind.

You’re trying to focus, you really are, but its just not happening!

The whole thing is a complete farce!

You don’t want to quit this easily. You’re not a quitter!

And plus you’ve heard so many good things about mindfulness meditation, you don’t want to stop now.

So how do you begin?

Well, there is a simple solution

You can start with your heart…

No, I’m not talking about listening to your hearts desires, although that would be nice. I’m talking about listing to your actual heartbeat, as you can feel the blood going up and down your body…

Ok, you may not be that good, but the very act of just listening to your heartbeat is a great way to becoming, ‘present’.

You see, to become mindful, you need a starting block and this is where some people can come unstuck. It’s easy to be mindful once your there, but getting there can feel like a whole new ball game, especially when you have an overactive imagination, or you have too many things on your mind.

meditation-review

That is why I recommend listening to your heart first if you have difficulty in calming yourself down, so you can calm you inner-chatter long enough to hear the ambient noise (what is actually a soft form of white-noise) which you can focus on to continue your mindfulness meditation practice.

Ok, this may sound complicated, so let me simplify it for you in the good ol’ fashioned form of step by step instructions.

Still with me?

Here goes:

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1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Sitting is preferred as it reduces the chance of falling to sleep.

2. Ignore any thoughts or images swirling in your mind. Just focus, to the best of your ability, on your heartbeat. After a few moments, you should be able to feel your heart pumping blood around your body.

3. As you begin to listen deeply to your heartbeat, you may even feel a few pulses after the beat, as the blood rushes to your head and then to your wrists and then legs. Try and focus on the sensation of that beat as it beating gets softer and softer.

You may find that the heartbeat is fast to begin with, but eventually slows down. That it good, as it shows you are relaxing and getting deeper in meditation. Just keep listening to your heartbeat, as it gets softer and slightly louder.

4. As the heartbeat feels louder, you may also hear the ambient noise of the outside world, what is actually natural white-noise (that rushing sound when the TV is snowing, although don’t be alarmed, the natural version is a lot quieter). When you hear this soft noise, switch you attention to the noise, so you can keep up with the mindfulness meditation.

5. Keep doing this until you are ready to stop. You may feel mentally energised, you may not, depending on the length of time you have done this exercise. But the most important thing is, you would’ve become, ‘present’.

By doing this on a daily basis this will allow you to get better at becoming more, ‘present’, easily and effortlessly, allowing you the ability to switch between mindfulness and thinking when you choose to.

And the good thing about listening to your heartbeat is that it allows you to realise if you are stressed or not, and make appropriate adjustments to your inner talk/state to help keep your self calm, especially under pressure.

Mindfulness is a great way to reducing stress and to help your brain out

By practising and honing your mindfulness meditation skills, you will be able to de-stress, but do it without needing other tools or equipment. And the good news is that it is totally free. You need nothing apart from your awareness and the ability to give it a try.

But there’s more.

If you do want to find an even easier way to meditate deeply than ever before, Gerald O’Donnell has put together two courses that allow you to listen to CD’s to help you meditate very deeply, as well as some other cool stuff. I’ve bought them myself and have reviewed the two courses, so if you wish to find out more information on how to achieve deeper states of meditation and to read my review, click here.

Till next time

Julian.

P.S. If you struggle with becoming present, listening to your heartbeat is a great way to becoming mindful. Just find a place to sit down, and focus on your heart beating.

Before you know it, you would have calmed down, and be able to become very present. Just be careful that you don’t fall asleep;-)

If you do want to find an easier way to meditating, I’ve reviewed two courses by Gerald O’Donnell, that allow you to meditate by listening to CD’s. To read my honest review, click here.

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Ho’oponopono, What it is and why you should use it!

Just imagine going to work and being angry about someone that you care for.

Imagine how you try to be nice to this person, yet you get it thrown into your face almost all the time.

You try to connect to this person, even emotionally, but you get little or almost no result.

When the person is happy, you want to share in their happiness. When the person is sad, you want to help them, give them a hug…do something, but feel you are repelled from doing so.

This would drive anyone crazy

Now imagine that you stumble upon a simple yet powerful technique that could help you not only help the other persons personal demons, but also help you connect with them at a deeper level.

Just imagine how relaxed you would be to see someone piss around, yet instead of being distraught with their behaviour, you were more in content, comforted in the knowledge that you could help them without even saying a word to their mouth.

In fact, you wouldn’t need to say anything at all.

You would need to use a tool that is so simple to implement, yet very powerful.

A tool that has helped people brake from bad habits at a deep subconscious level.

A tool so powerful, in fact, that it has helped a certain ward at the Hawaii State Hospital for the criminals who were mentally ill to almost heal itself within 4 years.

You cannot ignore this

Welcome to the Ho’oponopono technique, that consists in just a sentence that could, potentially, change your life.

And not only can it change your life, but it can also change the lives of other people.

And not only that, but all of this could take about 5-10 minutes, per person (approx.)

I know what you are thinking…pretty big claim!

Are you ready?

The words are as follows:

I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

This is Ho’oponopono in a nutshell, and even though it is simple in its design, it is powerful in its execution.

I first came across the Ho’oponopono technique a few years back via a guy called Dr. Joe Vitale.

I was watching some of his stuff and heard him mention a guy called Dr. Hew Len, who had helped heal a Hospital ward.

He’s secret: Using the Ho’oponopono technique.

But what exactly is Ho’oponopono?

Ho’oponopono came from Hawaii and is a prayer to help clean yourself up mentally.

I think about it as a way about helping the hologram subconsciously to help a person or a group of people.

While it may seem strange that the specific words may actually be of help, there is a logic to this.

meditation-review

The key, is to essentially ponder on the problem, and notice any initial feelings that come up inside (shouldn’t be hard to do, if you care passionately about the issue at hand). This is critical, because we want to work with the feeling, or aspect of consciousness for this to work.

Once you have been given a feeling, you can get to work.

I’m sorry

Just for clarity, you are not saying sorry to the multiverse. The multiverse is unconditional love, there is nothing to be sorry about (in most cases).

You’re saying sorry to yourself, because though your own ignorance, lack of awareness, or something or other, this person has been brought to your awareness and you are seeing them in a negative light due to their poor behaviour.

You are saying sorry because at some deep level of consciousness, you somehow put them there, therefore it is your responsibility.

I like to see it that, because you had no idea that the images in your mind and the resulting emotion that you are feeling are affecting them at a deep level, you wish to make amends.

Please forgive me

Be honest, if you knew for sure that the images and the emotions that you saw and felt when you think of the person was putting them though crap, you would be ever so slightly apologetic, wouldn’t you?

Not only would you realise that the imagery was having an affect on the people that you care for, but you would also be very diligent on what imagery and emotions you felt. Not that this would be easy (as I can testify;-)

So of course, it is only logical that if the person has gone through hell partly (and I’m saying that carefully) due to you, then you need to ask for forgiveness again for your own ignorance of the effect your subconscious was having on them. And lets not forget that your subconscious controls 99.9% of your behaviour.

Just saying.

Thank you

Simple one this, you’re saying thank you to the multiverse/unconditional love as you are using your superconscious to help, essentially, re-write the hologram in such a way that benefits the other person. Gratitude has always been a powerful state of consciousness/being.

Also bear in mind, that gratitude allows you to let go; very crucial in the manifestation process and can also act like you are thanking an event or circumstance that as been taken in advance!

I love you

The multiverse is unconditional love. What you give to the multiverse (emotion/feeling wise) you get back ten-fold.

So lets try get into the habit of wishing love to everybody that we meet that we care passionately for, or people that have hurt us.

And of course, don’t forget the obvious; consciousness creates form, not the opposite way round.

And everything is an aspect of consciousness.

We are in a feeling based multiverse.

The trick (in my opinion) is not to rush this, but to feel the individual feelings as if you are working on yourself. Bear another thing in mind, that if you accept the holographic principal (which is almost scientifically proven), this means that whatever work you do on yourself, you do for another person.

Ho’oponopono is a great simple exercise to help you help other people, without even saying a word. You can also use this to help break bad addictions, and help ease of anxiety.

You can combine this with your meditation practice to help make yourself a more peaceful and happier person.

Meditation itself has numerous benefits, and can help make you a more clearer, forgiving person. If you find that meditating is difficult, or would like help with your meditation practice, I have reviewed 2 courses by Gerald O’Donnell, who is an expert on Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing.

These courses allow you to reach very deep states of meditation and allows you to integrate it into your daily life, all in the comfort of your own home.

To find out more information on the ARVARI system, please click here.

Till next time.

Julian.

P.S. Using Ho’oponopono on a regular basis can not only help ease of negative feelings for another person, it can also help you help them at a deep subconscious level.

By trying to heal yourself, you are also trying to heal them. Combine this with your current meditation practice, to enhance you peaceful and happier emotional well-being.

If you do find meditating difficult, you can try using the ARVARI system. To find out more information, please read my review by clicking here.

 

Loving-Kindness Meditation: The Secret To Great Compassion?

Imagine opening your eyes, feeling at peace with the world, any form of anger almost evaporating from your soul…

Imagine opening your eyes feeling that little bit lighter, and for once, optimistic about your day.

Imagine feeling more relaxed with yourself, and feeling more focused so you can get out and do more of the things you love.

Wouldn’t it be nice to start you day feeling lighter, more calmer and feeling more love?

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel your Heart chakra open, so you can feel slightly energised and peaceful, any lingering anger almost gone?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a simple way to improve your compassion and love skills, so you can feel more younger and become more of a healthier and happier person?

There is good news for you, because there is a simple exercise which does just that!

Enter in the arena a new weapon for your compassion skills.

This one exercise is arguably the best compassion exercise there is.

It not only allows you to feel love, but also Appreciative Joy, Friendliness, Equanimity and of course Compassion.

All rolled into one!

And not many exercises can do that.

And it gets better

By daily practising this technique, this will naturally make you more into a compassionate person, which has its own rewards.

And not only that, but you will reduce pity and increase genuine compassion aimed at another person (Pity merely copies the quality of concern, but doesn’t have the empathy that compassion has).

With increased practice, one develops a sense of Appreciative Joy; Joy, which any law of attraction student will tell you, can help the process of manifestation (but this will be for a later article;-)

Loving Kindness Meditation is a simple but powerful tool to help you go through your day, whilst increasing your compassion skills

You see, Loving kindness meditation has its origin in the early Sutras of Jainism, but may have been inspired by early Buddhist texts.

This simple exercise can not only help you not only feel compassion but also helps your forgiveness skills as well as open up your Heart chakra.

And don’t get me started on the health benefits this spiritual wonder has for you. Loving kindness can help:

* Increase emotional processing with the brain

* Reduce the sign of Ageing

* Increase the volume of grey matter

* Decrease PTSD

* Decrease Chronic Pain

Plus much more…(Thanks to Emma Seppala for this insight)

So, how do you activate this apparent health promoting, compassion inducer within yourself?

Are you ready?

Here goes

Loving kindness meditation essentially is about using feelings of kindness and goodwill towards someone.

You can do this by either;

* Reflecting on the good qualities of the other person

* By reciting a mantra out-loud (which is what I do) and visualizing a person.

* Or by visualizing directly, a Joyous version of that person, and wishing them good feelings.

The way I personally do it is to use 3 sentences as a form of a mantra to help promote success and emotional well-being.

While they can differ (this exercise is also flexible…of course;-) the below is an example of what you can say

“I wish myself success, I wish myself happiness, I wish myself good health”

That’s it.

(Alight, a bit more then)

So the exercise involves you saying this to not only yourself, but to 4 more people.

One person you love

One person you like

One person you are neutral about

(probably the hardest part of this whole process, because of our quick nature to judge. If it makes it any easier, think of a shop assistant).

And someone you dislike (again, can be tough for some of you)

If you wish to do my version, all you have to do is to think of someone and say these 3 statements to them.

This takes me about 5 minutes

It sounds mad, but the exercise above will do wonders to your emotional well-being.

meditation-review

Not only that, but it can also help increase mental clarity, so this will also help you with your intuition, and should help motivate you to taking more intuitive action.

There is a part 2 to this

Once you have sufficient practice in the above exercise, try to then send the warm feelings towards the north of you, then the east, south and finally west.

I.e. Try to direct the feelings towards not only people that you speak to, but also your local area and ultimately other countries and the world.

This could take longer, but take comfort that you are helping the world at an energetic level.

Buts there’s more…

How would you like to use this exercise in conjunction with a way to deepen your meditation skills and meditate deeper than ever before (and when I say deep, I’m talking about deep Alpha, if not Theta brainwave state),so you can feel more at peace and more healthier, so you can have more fun in your life?

What would you say if I told you that you can do this with some good headphones and a a CD player?

Basically, there are 2 courses that will help you meditate deeper than every before.

This stuff is powerful

So powerful, that you can go into very deep states of meditation, so you can increase your intuition as well as some other cool stuff.

By increasing your intuition, you can get a better chance of noticing your gut feelings, as well as find better ways to get creative which should help with your life style.

I’ve even written a review for you, so you can get my honest opinion on the courses.

Simply click here to read the review.

Until next time

Julian

P.S. Loving Kindness meditation is a great simple exercise which helps you not only begin the forgiveness process of a person, but can also help you increase your compassion and loving abilities.

This in turn helps with your body, as well as help you with your emotional well-being.

This allows you to let go and can help you become a more calmer, happier and fun person, helping you release emotional baggage from the past, as well as helping you concentrate on more important things in life.

Mindfulness meditation is another great way to improve compassion. If you wish to learn to meditate very deeply, please read my review of the ARVARI course by clicking here.

 

Using compassion with Goal Setting, and 5 ways to achieve it!

I will never forget those moments during my weekends!

I would come home, annoyed and pissed off with yet another poor week at work.

I would make myself yet another promise that this time, things would be different.

I would grab a beer, have a pizza, and faithfully tell myself that my life would finally begin on Saturday.

Of course, I would have yet another late night, far more concerned about my fun and entertainment than getting my life back on track.

Far more concerned about the life of celebrity gossip, rather than trying to make the actual effort of finding what I wanted in life, and actually drawing up a plan to make it happen.

Fun is more exciting

Gossip cheered me up.

I could look down at some celebs, rather than actually owning defeat and saying that I needed help with my life.

The web was a convenient distraction, and I loved it.

So you can imagine my horror that, come Sunday, still no changes!

But that was about to change, I told myself.

I quickly wrote down my top 10 things that I had to do, tried to prioritise them, and then set myself to work.

This worked well to a point, until I begin to loose interest

I didn’t (at the time) find blogging fun. In fact, I didn’t find anything I did fun at all.

And when I did take a break, and finally succumbed to watching videos online, I quickly became too self-critical to myself, resigned myself to defeat and carried on, indulging in the chocolate of late night video catching up.

Till about Monday, when I was back in work.

And then the following weekend repeated it self. Again and again.

I would be really self-critical, unable to re-capture the initial excitement of changing my life for the better, building a brilliant business, and making a positive impact in the world.

No, the usual doubts of, ‘this will never work’ or, ‘I’m so useless at this’ got louder and louder and louder. I got into a defeatist attitude, then a victim attitude.

Then I got depressed

Does any of this sound familiar?

All too often, we build ourselves up to create goals to actually achieve, only to fail a few times and give up.

But why is that?

Startling as it may seem, but the answer may surprise you.

You are being too harsh on yourself

And believe it or not, self-compassion is fast becoming proven to show that you are far more likely to achieve in your life if you are kinder than yourself that if you are critical.

Now, don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I’m not on about being over indulgent, I’m talking about reducing and eliminating that critical self-talk that most of us have.

You see, we assume that if we are easy on ourselves, we won’t get things done.

But evidence is proving the opposite.

In 2010, a study in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that college students experienced less distress with their goals, than students who had goals that were based in self-image (I.e. egocentric goals…more on this later)

It all boils down to how to achieve a goal

The classic approach is this…

It involves a vision, and then a plan. It involves discipline and it involves motivation (to get you going initially, then discipline takes over when the going gets tough). It also involves grit determination, and also the ability to fail and learn from your mistakes.

And this is where most people screw up, and where your inner talk really counts to either your advantage or dis-advantage.

Lets take dis-advantage first, and one which most if us do.

We set a goal (or a few), we achieve most of them.

And then we fail

Thanks to life’s twist and turns, we get distracted, (or sidetracked), and then completely forget the original mission because, maybe, we are having too much fun online.

We then beat ourselves up over it (‘can’t I ever finish anything, what is the point, pull yourself together!!!’).

This looses the race, and we are back to square one.

Why?

Because we are not being fair to ourself

Would you speak to your friend like that?

Didn’t think so!

So why would you speak to yourself like that?

And when you do, you get stressed, releasing the good ol’ chemical cortisol into your blood, which prevents you from focusing properly.

This means that you find it difficult to complete your goal….

Need I say more.

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Now lets look at what you should be saying to yourself. (lets show the advantage of good inner talk;-)

So, same as before, you make a few goals, achieve only a few of them, but now the crossroads.

And this is where we are going to learn from our previous mistakes

Stop beating yourself up over it. Your only human, not a robot (contrary to what you may believe).

Take a few deep breaths, do something enjoyable for about 10 mins (no more!!!) and casually resume. If you have to, make a bargain with your own ego. (‘I’ll finish this, only if I watch that video online for just 10 mins’… you get the idea).

Change your inner dialogue, so instead of a harsh dictator whip-lashing into action, you have a more gentle voice, nudging you in the right direction.

Sounds crazy, but this stuff actually works.

And you feel better because of it!

Promoting self-compassion with your inner self-talk helps turn your goals from ego centric to eco-centric.

Sound very similar, but are vastly different. Egocentric goals are purely for your self-image, and as a result, only you loose. Not a big problem, in and of itself, but it is a loose-loose outcome.

Sure, your attempt to achieveing that goal was to help yourself, but people were not going to be helped. Now you have failed, nobody wins.

Not lets compare that to eco-centric goals.

You have a goal for your self image, but you are very aware of how self-compassion plays a part, so you set it so even if you do fail, people still benefit.

Sure, you may not succeed as much, but seeing somebody else benefiting from your journey is also rewarding, so you feel better, not worst.

See the difference

By setting our goals as eco-centric rather than ego-centric, we are still helping our community so that if we we don’t succeed (which, if done correctly, would be few and far between) other people are still helped.

So how do you improve your self-compassion, and get back on track when the going gets (inevitably) tough.

Here are a few suggestions to help you on your way.

* Realise you are not on your own

There is a good chance that that somebody has been here before and probably succeeded.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here, I’m not talking about trivialising your problem. Far from it, trivialising important issues always does more harm than good.

I’m referring to realising that somebody has probably been where you have been and succeeded, despite the initial setbacks.

This type of thought process should be empowering, not disempowering.

* Realise that you have an array of tools on your side

Bear in mind that there is a lot of good information out there on the web (true, there is also a lot of crap out there as well, but I’m assuming you can tell by now if something sounds true to you), and the chances are that you have already learnt a great deal on your journey on self-improvement.

The trick is to take comfort in the tools you have in your treasure chest (For me, this would be NLP, EFT, Mindfulness meditation etc…).

For example, if you have trouble getting motivated to start your goal, you can do a quick 5 minute NLP anchoring technique, so you can touch on a certain part of your body to elicit the emotional state of motivation.

Obviously, this may wear off after a while, so you have to carry on with discipline.

Which leads me to…

* Use the 5 minute rule

I love this rule, as it is something that I do every day.

I use the 5 minute rule to help start a goal, knowing that there is a psychological principle which states that you once you start something you are passionate about, you will try to finish the task once you start it (aka The Zeigarnik effect).

Try it and see for yourself (you can thank me later;-)

* Make a bargain with yourself

Another trick is to spend 10 minutes of fun before resuming a goal, or make goals that incorporate fun so you don’t loose out on enjoyment!

You can also try the trick in making a quick deal with yourself.

If you find that it is harder to get back on track, say that you are going to have fun for 10 minutes and no more.

Then, its back to work.

You will be surprised at how often you will finish a task by doing this.

* Be your own best friend

Making friends with your subconscious is a powerful thing to do!

Above all else, try to make friends with your subconscious. Realise that your subconscious responds well to positive encouraging imagery, tone of talk and emotion. So make peace with whatever distraction you have caught yourself being involved with.

By changing your inner talk to a more caring and kind nurtured spirit, you will find that most often than not you will go back to finishing your task and building a better ‘you’.

As you can see, using self-compassion is invaluable at setting goals and achieving them.

By changing how you talk to yourself, you can produce more effective goals, complete them more effectively and become more productive in your every day life.

By doing this, you will be more happier and stronger than ever before.

If you would like to find a way to communicate with your subconscious more effectively, I have reviewed an online course by NLP teacher Michael Stevenson, which is the NLP practitioners training video course (non-certification).

NLP is a great way to communicate with your subconscious, and this course offers great tips and techniques to get the most out of your day, including a way to produce very effective goals so you can get more stuff done. To read my review, please click here.

Till next time…

Julian.

P.S. Using self-compassion is often underrated, as we think that self-compassion is being over indulgent, but the research is promising.

By changing your inner talk and tonality to that of a kinder person, you will find that you will benefit in the long one. You will produce more goals, and actually begin to have fun achieving them.

A great way to do this is to have a better relationship with your inner self, or your subconscious. Your subconscious dictates 99.9% of your behaviour, and therefore making friends with your subconscious is an absolute must.

NLP is a great way to build a more friendly and effective relationship with your subconscious. To read my review on the NLP practitioners course, please click here.

 

Why Self-esteem without Self-compassion is useless, and 5 steps to improve it!

Imagine that you are driving to work in your car, talking out loud to your self that you are going to have a great day.

You keep reciting positive thinking affirmations to yourself.

Your desperate to try to raise your energy, at your attempt at getting into the perfect state of mind to really take on the world.

You’ve learn’t hours of self-esteem literature, from articles to listening to podcasts.

You know the importance of self-esteem and its benefits, and know that you have a confidence problem that only low self-esteem can produce.

You know that by saying affirmations out loud and by remaining upbeat, you hope that somehow, you turn on a magic switch inside your head to make you more confident again…

As you walk into your office, you get yourself a coffee.

You try to get rid of that brain fog you have had since you have woken up.

The last few weeks have been super stressful.

Your sleep is feeling the brunt of it.

But this coffee tastes good, and you’re starting to feel more confident as you start with the work.

As the first hour goes by, you begin to feel good about yourself.

You have turned a corner.

That life doesn’t feel bleak after all…

Suddenly, your boss stands next to you, gives you an email, and asks you to explain why you sent this email to the wrong department, and crash…

The confidence has gone again.

You feel stupid and look sheepishly at the email…

You fumble in your mind a good excuse as how you can make a simple dumbass mistake.

But that brain fog hasn’t lifted yet and you still feel a bit hazy…

You mumble your sorrys, and your boss walks away.

You feel like crap!

Your confidence has gone and you wonder if this self-esteem is all a load of BS…

This is the current situation for many people who read their fair share of self-esteem stuff, and who know that increasing their self-esteem will help their lives significantly.

However, trying to increase your self-esteem for some people, can not only be a fruitless task, but can also be very unhealthy for you!

I know what you’re thinking…

‘Seriously?!?’

Yeah, I know.

This is a funny old pill to swallow.

And its a funny old pill to swallow because it smacks the complete opposite of what you have been taught since a kid.

You see the thing is…

This self-esteem stuff can be kinda overrated

Despite a huge self-esteem movement that was started in the late 1970’s.

The whole purpose of increasing self esteem was to help ones correct perspective of ones own abilities and talents.

You see, self-esteem is as we all know, is a bit of a big deal.

Without it, you’re screwed

But here’s the real pincher…with too much of it, your kinda screwed as well.

Yes.

Really!

You wanna know why?

Because self esteem once you have it, has a notorious tendency of being knocked off if you make even by a small mistake.

And this is especially true for those really sensitive souls

(myself included)

I’ll always remember the moment when I was playing Badminton a couple of years ago.

I wasn’t great, but I wasn’t too bad either.

I won most of my games.

I would loose a few games, but they were fairly close ones, so I didn’t mind loosing, and I always learn’t something new.

That was until I played a few games where I lost dramatically.

It completely shattered my confidence levels.

I began to work almost too hard, trying to make up for that fact that I thought I was a terrible player.

I ignored the fact that I was winning most games before this setback, but it was to no avail.

Week after week, I would try to really focus playing my game. Trying to really get the shots accurate.

But after a while, I got really super stressed out and even frustrated that things didn’t seem to go my way.

I even began to loose interest in Badminton, because winning breeds motivation, and that was practically gone.

What I hadn’t realised, was that my self-esteem had taken a battering, and I didn’t even now it!

And this is the thing about self-esteem.. .

Great when the going is good, but when the going gets bad, it goes ugly!

Talking about making it tough for yourself.

And don’t get me started on bullies who, studies say, have ample self-esteem.

Do you really want to be known as a bully.

Didn’t think so.

So self esteem is bad…Yes?

No!

Not quite.

It’s actually a bit tricky…(I know what you’re thinking, ‘here we go…’)

Increase your self esteem.

Sure, that will help your life like wonders!

The trick is to do it indirectly.

‘Ahhh’, you say, ‘the plot thickens‘…

It sure does!

meditation-review

Let me be absolutely clear before I carry on. Self-esteem is not a bad thing, without it, you’re in trouble.

The problem is that most people don’t know how to increase it to a healthy level, and it gets to dangerous proportions that can cause you to loose your head at the most inappropriate moments (think of some celebrities).

The thing about self-esteem is that, no one person has a self-esteem gauge, that guides them when it gets too low or too high.

So we have a mini dilemma…

How to increase the self-esteem naturally, but without danger of basically acting like a dick towards people when it is too high (and we all know people who are assholes due to thinking they are special).

Enter a new weapon for our EGO, and that is self-compassion (and thanks to Kristin Neff for this insight)

Compassion basically means to have sympathetic concern for the sufferings of other people, therefore self-compassion means to do this but to yourself…

i.e being kind to yourself!

Seems kinda strange to think that having compassion helps with your self-esteem, doesn’t it?

Well, not really.

Remember what I said about one of the dangers of increasing self-esteem, that you can get knocked down very easily due to making a dumbass mistake?

You feel like shit right?

Well, you may do for a tiny bit, but it won’t be for long.

When you initiate self-compassion, the bad feelings will subside.

‘So what?’

Well, it means that you’ll begin to recover easier and more effortlessly than ever before, allowing you to feel better again.

And feeling better means less stress.

Less stress means more relaxation, which means more focus and productivity, which means your mission in whatever you are doing gets accomplished (without you tearing your hair out at the slightest mistake).

You get the idea

Not only does it helps self-esteem increase to healthy levels (and no more…very important) it can also lead to optimistic thinking. Not to be confused for positive thinking.

Quick explanation needed here…

Positive thinking is what is currently being taught at the moment. I should know because I buy stuff myself that helps with positive thinking.

Nothing wrong with positive thinking, but all it does in most cases, is to help you feel good over a bad situation.

What’s wrong with that, you may ask?

Nothing really…

But feeling good isn’t going to really help you achieve your goal.

It just makes you come to peace with your past bad experience (if you’re lucky).

Which is ok in and of itself, but wouldn’t you want to be at peace as well as still be on your path to attain your goal?

Let me give you an example.

You go to a job interview. You try your best, but the interview doesn’t go very well. You don’t get the job.

Positive thinking says, ‘Well, I wouldn’t want to work with them anyway, they were so unprofessional, I’ll apply for a company that is more better!’

READ: you don’t learn much, but you make peace with your past… that’s it.

But lets now add a twist to this thought process

Lets try optimistic thinking.

‘Well, the interview was poor… where was I at fault, because for them to interview me must mean that they liked my CV, so my EGO got in the way. What do I need to do to make the next one better and get the job?’

Do you see the difference here?

Both very similar, and both bring peace to your bad experience. But which one is most likely going to get that job you need?

The 2nd one.

And that’s my point.

Using optimistic thinking allows you to make peace with you past, as well as a more realistic practical chance to still go for the goal that you are looking to attain.

Self-compassion helps do this

When you help heal the past, the imagery in your mind isn’t so rampant, which allows a more natural mindfulness to take place…

Which means that you can become more relaxed and focused.

Or to put simply, combining self-compassion and optimistic thinking allows you to lead a better life, because you will be more healthier, which means you can have more fun with yourself, your family and ultimately, your loved one.

Pretty good huh;-)

So, how do you increase your compassion?

Well, I’ve discovered 5 ways.

Here goes;-)

Mindfulness Meditation

This is abut paying attention to the, ‘here and now’, or the present moment.

Quite simply, being alert to your current state of being. There are many ways to being present, but the best I have found is to listen to the ambient noise outside. There are others… peripheral vision, focusing on your breath etc…

Loving kindness meditation

Another type of meditation, but this time, you do a series of steps which helps you come to terms with someone that has aggrieved you.

You will need to visualize this, but can be amazingly effective at helping you come to terms with the past which can make it easier for you to feel compassion.

meditation-review

Changing your inner story

Often, it is our inner story and beliefs that can caused us to loose our head, by a poor belief or a missasumption.

To change you inner story, one needs to change the images in your head.

You need to make this a daily ritual.

This won’t be easy, as your subconscious will humour you at first…

Keep practising

For example, keep saying to yourself that you are human and will make some mistakes, and you will learn from them.

Try to quickly imagine yourself learning from a common mistake you make, and feeling good about it.

Then try to imagine that somebody has made a mistake against you, but you quickly forgive them.

Oneness

Sometimes, we just need a good ol hug from someone, like a shoulder to cry on.

But getting a hug when you need one happens at the most inappropriate times.

So we have to do the next best thing.

See the oneness in everything to help open up our Heart Chakra instead (those vortices that you have with your body)

Still with me…

Good!

Put simply, you are consciousness (duh…) but what you may not know is how to feel it.

To do this, simply imagine yourself as part of everything else…your arms and legs extend to not just your arms and legs, but everything around you (of course, for all those out of body explorers out there, this will seem like obvious info).

This does sound wacky, but believe it or not this simple exercise can work wonders for your heart.

This allows you to even help heal a bad situation, and increase your compassion.

Golden Shield of Protection

If you are particularly sensitive, and feel the negative energy of other people easily, this can be a great tool to help yourself and increase your levels of compassion.

Just imagine a golden shield swirling around you.

You don’t have to make a strong visual out of it (just a few golden specks acting like a shield will suffice) but this may prove pivotal in helping you feel more at peace, which can lead to an increase in self-compassion.

By increase your ability to feel compassion for your self, you will indirectly increase your self-esteem to more healthy levels, whilst giving other people slack.

By doing this, you can feel more healthier, happier, and become more focused in your day-to-day running of things, enabling you to get things done, so you can have a more productive, healthier and happier lifestyle.

But I’ve got more…

How would you like to find an easy way to meditate, so you can feel more healthier?

What would you say if I told you that you can do this with a CD player and some good headphones.

Basically, there are 2 courses that will help you meditate deeper than every before.

This stuff is pretty powerful

So powerful, that you can go into very deep states of meditation, so you can increase your intuition as well as some other cool stuff.

By increasing your intuition, you can get a better chance of noticing your gut feelings, as well as better ways to get creative which can help with your life style.

I’ve even written a review for you, so you can get my honest opinion on the courses.

Simply click here to read the review.

Hopefully you won’t regret it;-)

Yours

Julian

P.S. Self-esteem, although is required to help you achieve success in most areas of your life, can only be increased indirectly. If you try to increase it directly, you may be guilty of over doing it.

This can lead to other problems.

The trick is to do it indirectly, via self-compassion.

By practising self-compassion, you achieve a more healthier level of self-esteem, but you also acknowledge your weaknesses, and instead of feeling bad about them, simply accept them as part of your learning curve.

This allows you to let them go and can help you become a more happier and fun person.

Mindfulness meditation is a great way to improve compassion. If you wish to learn to meditate very deeply, please read my review of the ARVARI course by clicking here.

 

Past Hurt and Forgiveness- Are You Doing One Of These 6 Things?

past-hurt11I was almost tempted not to write this article…

Forgiveness and the past is not my strongest suit. I’ve been told that, due to who I am, I will always bear grudges…

not exactly the most healthiest way to live!

On top of that, I can’t even mention some of the past stuff stuff that has held me back in life, for legal reasons..

so that doesn’t help either!

And just to put the icing on the cake, (don’t you just love that phrase), I constantly suffer from anger and rage due to images in my mind, and being (at times) unable to control them.

So believe me when I say, certainly over an important topic, that I was very tempted not to write anything on the past and forgiveness of it.

So why bother then. Why bother wasting internet space on something that has little practical value in ones life.

3 reasons!

Firstly , because this topic is relevant and current now, more than ever. I’m seeing a lot of hurt people out there, with a good degree of what is known in some circles as, ‘learned helplessness’.

‘Learned helplessness’ is a term given when it feels like you are stuck with someone or somewhere, career or otherwise, without any way out.

Its kinda a big deal, and promotes depression, anger, as well as lack of confidence.

I’m seeing a lot of, ‘learned helplessness’ wherever I go, and it kinda bothers me.

Why?

Because we are creative beings, able to mold, or (at the very least), influence our future.

So why don’t we do it?

As I said, we believe that we can’t.

And one of the reasons that we can’t is due to the past and its grip on us.

That’s number 1.

Number 2 is that, despite not fully healing my past (being honest here), I have learnt many ways to come to terms with it.

Yes, I still suffer from anger and rage. Yes, my blood sometimes boils over similar events, But as each day goes on, I’m getting better (sleep dependant, of course;-).

This allows me to focus more on my goals. This extra mental space that I have earned has allowed extra creative thoughts to flash into my mind for inspiration.

Or put simply, I have more, ‘hard drive space’ and as a result, perceived extra, ‘processing power’ to do the stuff that I want.

That is the power of letting go of the past!

It frees up mental space so you can focus on other stuff.

When you let go of the past, your beliefs that are rooted there are changed. You start doing new stuff, new momentum kicks in. You feel like a new you.

Pretty good!

But letting go of the past feels like you are justifying what has happened. You say to yourself, ‘If I forgive this person, I feel like I have authorised what they have done. It is justified’.

I can appreciate that.

Here’s what you don’t know. You are not justifying their actions, merely reclaiming your inner peace over them.

That’s different!

Number 3

For some people, not forgiving the past allows then to keep the resentment it has to offer, which allows them to be righteous in front of other people…

which makes them feels good (only temporarily).

I know, because I have had this feeling myself. I’ve been righteous, and felt great…

…for a short while. Then I felt crap afterwards.

This is going to sound kinda mad, but I know some people who carry bitterness in themselves, yet love being righteous to get that dopamine kick when they need it.

Of course, this is a temporary high, and it soon wears off.

Be careful of these people, because they will burden you in one way shape or form, and may even suck your energy. Some, ‘energy vampires’ may fit this category.

But what happens when you do start to forgive the past?

What you will find is a funny kind of acceptance that promotes peace and eventually cultivates mindfulness (By the way, that is why some people are unable to practice mindfulness, images of the past come up…).

Yet I don’t know about you, but whenever I get into the state of mindfulness, I feel empowered not dis-empowered. My peace increases (not cosmetic, like a mini-dopamine high that righteousness sometimes brings, but a deeper, more fulfilling feeling), as well as increased mental clarity, and my inner will-power returning.

Of course, if you do practice mindfulness on a regular basis, the chances are that you are slowly letting go of the past anyway.

In which case, keep going.

But what if you can’t become mindful. Then what?

Try the below to see if these work.

EFT

EFT is all about tapping certain parts of your body, and reciting a few simple affirmations. By doing this ritual, you will increase your energy and feel more better about the situation. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this. I’ve used this myself with a job interview, and going back to my former college (I wasn’t the biggest fan due to some stuff that happened). To read more about EFT, click here.

Stopping Comparisons

I was an expert at this over a decade ago, and thanks to social media, it is easy to see why!

But comparing your journey to somebody else’s journey, without even knowing all the facts, is like trying to see inside their brain without an operation. It’s just not going to work.

Stop comparing your life with somebody else’s! They have had their fair share of ups and downs, I can assure you. Someone very wise once said, that if we all bung our negatives into a pile, and study other peoples, were would gladly take ours back…

Don’t forget, social media is nothing short of a highlights reel. Nothing more!

Practising Gratitude

Depending on your situation, this can be a tricky one, and is not the easiest thing to pull off if you are really stuck in your emotional glue.

But basically you try to be as neutral about the person/event as you can, and see the positive over it. Not that this is easy. By seeing the positive, or the, ‘blessing in disguise’, you are able to slowly heal that aspect of yourself.

This may take numerous attempts, so don’t be surprised if the bad feelings come back after a while. Keep going. If you can do this on a regular basis, you may be ready for…

Loving Kindness Meditation

This is a form of compassion meditation, and is useful in helping you get over people.

The exercise is quite simple… you simply sit/lie down, close you eyes, take a few deep breaths, think about someone who has pissed you off (should be quite a few people by now;-) and say to yourself that you wish this person success and happiness and try your best to feel love/compassion for them.

This sounds quite mad I know, yet it is surprisingly effective, and there is even evidence to suggest that this type of meditation may actually reduce the signs of ageing (click here for details).

Seeing The Funny Side

Of course, if you really want to mess with your psyche (just kidding;-), you can even look back at the person and event with humour (if you can…again this is very dependant on what your situation is).

I was hesitant to put this in, as it is very difficult initially, to find the funny side without feeling that you are loosing the plot (and some peoples histories are more serious than others, so no offence intended if you have been a victim of abuse, for example). However, like the above, it can be very effective at dissolving fear, anger/rage and promoting peace.

I’ve sometimes allowed my anger to flood my body, be with the anger for a while (where there was nobody around) and then when the episode passed, laughed at myself while saying, ‘there you go, had to get it out of my system’. I wasn’t repressing the anger, just merely controlling the, ‘hose’.

Very important.

Writing In A Journal

I was also hesitant in writing this one, because I don’t do it, but I’ve read that it is effective in helping you come to grips with your past, so thought it would be worthy of a mention.

Essentially, it will be like writing a diary, and can be helpful in putting what is in your mind out into the open. I’ve read that this can be an effective way in promoting peace, and promoting self-healing. Give it a try.

Let me know how the above works for you, as I do like reading inspiring stories on peoples triumphs. If you would like more information on meditation, and how to increase the chances of intuition and self-healing, please click here.

 

My return, new directions of the blog, and your help with a survey

Wow, lots of things have happened in the last 12 months since I last posted on my blog…Christmas has been and gone (6 months left to the next one…just saying 😉 the bypass near my local town is starting to be built, and soon, the Rio Olympics will be here (including the current Euros bringing up a few surprises…well done to Wales and Iceland!)

This blog has also had a few changes as well!

I was writing initially about panic attacks and recovery form them (that was the initial first aim, back in 2011). The idea being that I could write about my experiences and ways to help reduce them.

That all changed in 2013, when I began to change direction towards more of stress management (stress can cause panic attacks), and how to help eliminate stress. Then it turned out, that stress wasn’t the bad monster we thought it was, and so began a slight tweak into how to manage your stress levels…

Well, I have to change my blog again, towards meditation and consciousness. I kinda figured that this was the direction it was going, and I can still talk about mental health issues as well (I do still wish to blog about panic and anxiety attacks, as I know I can help). But I will be focusing my blog on most things meditation and consciousness based.

This can include many subjects. I have had out-of-body experiences and lucid dreams (more the former than the latter), so I will be able to blog about those, and I do mindfully meditate on a regular basis, as well as do a, ‘Heart energy’ type of meditation (more of that in a later post). In fact, come to thing of it, I do have a certificate in meditation teaching, so I know I can use my knowledge to help others.

So, talking about The Chakras, mindfulness, mental health, obes and lucid dreams…well, there is a lot to get through, and I am kinda excited as to where this blog is going. Blogging has always been (in my opinion) a great source of information, help, and constructive opinions, if chosen wisely. Hopefully this blog will be no different.

And to finish things off, to really get a good idea of what you guys are talking about, I’ve designed a very short survey that hopefully will give me a better indication on where this blog is heading. Please feel free to check it out here. I would love to here your feedback, which could help other people (there is a short video explaining a few things, it’s only about 5 minutes).

Well, that’s it for now. Once I have completed my blog post diary, I’ll start posting again. As always, your good opinions are always welcome.

Namaste

 

These 8 foods Will Help You Learn How To Become Mindful With Ease!

Wouldn’t it be nice to make being mindful as easy as possible. After all, we all know the benefits of becoming mindful, from increased mental clarity to a reduction of phobias and stress. But by changing your diet to include the following foods, your mindfulness practice will be made a lot easier. You will gain clarity and presence sooner rather than later.

Here, we look at the top 8 foods that help you achieve mental clarity, concentration and your general emotional well-being. Adding some of the below to your diet will improve your mindfulness meditation sessions. See what you think;-)

Maca

Can help reduce stress and fatigue, and is also great in helping the blood flow to the brain, by providing amino acids, which also wards of low blood sugar.

Dark Chocolate

Eating a bit of Dark chocolate helps you to focus as it chocolate1contains Magnesium, and also helps release

Serotonin and endorphins, which helps improve your general well-being and mood. While it isn’t recommended that you eat huge bars and scoff your face all day long (tempting though it may be…) we do recommend that you have a tiny bit here and there for good measure, as well as improve your focus abilities.

Spirulina

One of the greatest super-foods out there for maintaining your focus, but that is not all! While it contains Protein, Vitamin B12 and has Iron content, it helps make your general mood better as well as aid your digestion system and helping you reduce stress.

Leafy Greens

Foods such as Collards, Swiss Chard, Kale and Romaine all contain Magnesium, B Vitamins, Chlorophyll, Folic acid, Fibre and Iron which helps with keeping your focus, as well as having loads of carotoids and antioxidants.

Their nutrition will help you keep being grounded as well as having a calm sense, instead of feeling on the edge. These types of leafy greens can help you fight stress, headaches and depression.

Fish

Helps improve your mood and concentration, as well as containing Omega 3 fatty acids which helps improve your mental performance, how your behaviour operates and also helps with your memory. The best sources of fish are Mackerel, Sardines, Kipper, Salmon and Trout. If you find that finding or eating fish is a struggle, I recommend that you take Omega 3 supplements.

Almonds

Rich in Magnesium which helps improve focus, reduces stress and also contains a high fibre content as well as the ability to help lower you blood sugar level as well as help make your nervous system operate more healthily.

Bananasbananas1

Despite their high sugar content, they are packed with some of the best nutrients to keep you being focused, including Magnesium, Vitamin B6, Vitamin C, Fibre and Potassium. This combination will help you feel energised throughout the day, while avoiding the, ‘crash’ that eating refined sugars can give you.

Blueberries

One of my personal favourites, Blueberries are a, ‘sort’ of super-food, as they contain antioxidants that help the blood flow to your brain, boosting your memory and concentration for up to over 4 hours from initial consumption.

Not only that, but the anti-oxidants that they contain, which include Tannins, Anthocyanins, Resverartol and Proanthocyanidins also help fight of Dimensia, Cancer and Heart Disease. And don’t forget, I said Resveratrol, which also means that they also help promote telemorase activity, keeping age on your side.

Having the above foods will help you ensure that you can focus more effectively, which will help you with your mindfulness meditation practice. Why not combine the above with a 15 minute special white-noise audio, which will help you become more mindful as well. Simple click here for more information.

 

Depression and 2 unusual ways to reduce it’s effects!

I consider myself to be very highly sensitive…

I’ve been sensitive growing up through high school and found myself getting hurt emotionally on a fairly regular basis. Then, going through college, It developed into OCD (when you repeat certain behaviours in an attempt to feel safe and secure). Being told I was autistic (although I would later challenge this believing it was ADD and mercury poisoning later on) didn’t help matters, especially when one is told that you had a problem that you had to deal with for all of your life, and often told in a very patronising way by people who you trusted the most (yeah, juck out self-healing why don’t you…).

Being made to feel ashamed, especially when you are a highly sensitive person, does no help for your self-esteem and self-confidence, and I soon began to loose control of my emotional state to the point that, when I began work in the early 2000’s, I got slowly depressed. I suffered from depression for a good 5-7 years.

Over 350 million people suffer from depression. So what can be done about it, as depression is not only hurting your body (please watch this video for more info), but also looses your focus so you are unable to be productive at work and at home?

I recently began getting depressed, and then had a very intuitive moment. Below are 2 exercises that I did, that not only help me identify the issue, but also stopped the depression dead in it’s tracks. I hope they do the same for you!

These exercises are best done quickly, (I found) as your subconscious likes speed. So please take no more than about a minute doing them.

Exercise 1

Find something in the past or the future imagined scenario that will cause you to become depressed, that is, something that you think will cause you to be depressed seemingly forever or for the moderate term. Something that you think that if you had it, there would be no way you can come to terms with it, and it will haunt you to the end of days. Try to really look at depression, to see it in the eye. Try to imagine holding it…what does it look like? Does it have a smell? What size is it, etc.

When you have done that quick exercise, try the next one.

Exercise 2

Try to become present, that is, nearly mindful. For the purpose of this exercise, you won’t be completely present due to the amount of thinking being used, but try to be nearly mindful. Try to get closed to being present as much of possible, whilst still remaining close to some form of logically thinking capability.

Now, look around and in yourself, and try to spot depression in yourself or outside of you. Again, whilst trying to be close to being present, try to spot and look depression in the eye, try to find it, try to really locate the source of the depression, that you think will be with you until the end of days.

What colour is it? What size? What shape? Does it even have a smell?

What you will notice in both cases (providing your condition isn’t too chronic) is that, while you may have noticed depressing moments in the first exercise, because you were using your conscious logical left-hemisphered part of your brain, any negative moments you did stumble upon quickly had solutions thrusted upon them, or you moved onto a new image or feeling. Whilst you may have had moments that you felt depression, it was very short term, and not as long-term as you thought it would be.

That is because you had your logical, ‘guard’ up. You have a logical conscious for a reason, and one of the main reasons is for calculation and for problem solving. Depression in some cases takes place when this guard is, ‘down’. That is, you are in the subconscious, ‘receiving’ state, getting all sorts of negative imagery lobbed into your direction without any obvious protection.

Sounds too deep? Let me give you an example.

I worked in a desk job, answering some emails for customers. The problem was, due to being highly sensitive as I am, when I was consciously at work (i.e. actually typing a response to a query) my ‘guard’ would be brought down, allowing my sensitive sub-conscious to pick up energies, which it then converted into images and emotions (depending on what type of person you are, you may hear audio or may have different feelings).

I was in the passive, ‘receiving’ state, meaning that, while as was using my conscious to do work, due to not being fully involved with the task at hand, I was getting lots of conversions of energy being translated into imagery being thrown into my conscious mind almost against my will. Or, to put it in simple street language, I would unwittingly fantasise and imagine all sorts of depressing and negative scenarios which would ultimately bring my mood down.

Depression in some cases can take place when the subconscious that picks up other negative sources of energy and converts it, isn’t being logically challenged. That is, the imagery (or audio, random bad emotion etc) isn’t being processed by the logical, critical left-hemisphere of your brain. Essentially, you have become, ‘ungrounded’.

One of the greatest ways to free yourself from the grip of depression, is to notice the specifics of it and name it out loud; that is, give it the verbal treatment. This allows the two hemispheres to become more balanced, allowing you to become more mindful. Or to put it another way, challenging the depressing imagery allows your critical, ‘guard’ to go back up.

Alternately, you can try to do what they describe in NLP as pattern interrupting. Quite simply, think of the depressing moment, and then, quite randomly and spontaneously, look at something behind you on the wall and really take it all in. Could be a photo you have, could be the TV etc… this, again, allows your critical conscious, ‘guard’ to go back up, and you will find it slightly more difficult in thinking of the depressed imagery and may even become slightly mindful in the process.

 

What ‘Oneness’ is and 3 steps to achieve it

We hear this term splashed everywhere especially in the new age community. It is said that, ‘oneness’ helps with the law of attraction, but what exactly is it?

I came across this term years ago. Having been bought up as a Roman Catholic, I viewed God as someone who demanded respect, and to be also slightly feared. I was also apparently to treat this guy like he was my friend. Needless to say, the concept of, ‘oneness’ was not only a completely new outlook on life, but was also complete blasphemy. I mean, to think yourself as, ‘one’ with the big guy was disillusionment of the highest order!

So I was stunned when I came across my first spiritual book, after having a low point in my life, and realised that God (or whatever name you would like to call it) wasn’t what people were saying he was.

All it took was one small meditation session, and I realised that I couldn’t go back to my old ways again. ‘Oneness’, it seemed, was the ability to feel complete; to feel, ‘whole’, to feel unconditional love…that is, to feel love with no strings attached. It was a pretty neat idea, considering that some peoples definitions of love was more of a, ‘give and take’ variety.

To feel, ‘oneness’ or being, ‘complete’, means ultimate to transcend your EGO, that is, the thoughts you are having. It means that you go from a thinking state to a more, ‘being’ state; that is, you turn yourself into a Human, ‘Being’. There a 3 steps to achieve this:

1 – To start with, imagine your ego extends to the screen that you are watching. This may sound strange, but try to pretend that the screen in front of you is also, ‘you’. If you need to close your eyes to try to imagine seeing from that view point, go ahead. Try to act like the screen that you are watching is also a part of your personality, or if that is difficult to imagine, try to think that you could, ‘float’ there, as it you were in a first person shooter game, and you could float out of your body.

When done correctly, you should feel a chunk of feeling starting to move in your Heart area. Depending on what feeling you have, some people would call this unconditional love, or compassion. It may be very subtle at first, so don’t be too put off if you are unable to feel it straight away.

2 – In my opinion, the first step is always the most difficulty, because you are having to extend your mind, which most people cannot do. You’ll be glad to know that from now on this will get easer.

So now you have got your perception to the screen in front of you (maybe the corner of the screen, but that’s fine), we are going to extend it even further! Try to imagine that, ‘you’ are now not only including your screen, but also the wall behind it.

Again, if you want to loosely visualise being able to, ‘see’ on a speck of the wall to the left or your right, with your eyes open or closed, that’s absolutely fine. And try not to include just the wall in front of you, but also the contents in front of the wall, like the stationary, any papers you have lying around, that cup of coffee, etc. Really try and get into seeing yourself as also part of the wall and the enclosed surrounding area.

You should now feel that lump of energy around your heart area increasing in intensity, and you should also be slightly, ‘present’ or mindful (this is a great way to becoming, ‘present’). If you can, try to let the feelings spread across your body, so it not only encompasses your heart, but also you lungs, back, legs and hands. Try to feel your body getting more energised by this feeling.

3 – Not we have expanded our ego to not only include the screen that we are using to read this, as well as the wall behind, we are now going to take the final step, and move our ego or perception beyond into the wild.

Again, like before, slowly move your perception to a nearby tree, or if that is too difficult for you to imagine, act as if that tree is also another arm that you possess, that you can move it with your heart, as if it was your real arm. This may sound really silly, but it is brilliantly effective and can help you really get in tune with your surroundings. Try to act like every object you see can be moved by the power of your heart, as if it is an extension to your heart.

You should now feel that energy in your heart getting stronger and more intense. You could also describe this feeling as very healing and very, ‘complete’…feels good, doesn’t it;-)

What you have experienced, is what I believe many people and masters over the millennia have described. You were, at, ‘one’ with your multi-verse, and in doing so, have transcended you ego in the process. You didn’t, ‘need’ anything, as you used the power of only your perception (and maybe a tiny bit of visualization;-).

Try to get into a small habit of doing this every day, even if it is only for about 60 seconds, and you’ll find that not only will it become easier for you, you’ll start to see life in a different and more accurate way.

 

Feeling Under The Weather? Think Again!

Credit: Youtube / Dr. Joe Marshalla

Coming across a video like this makes you realize how important your feelings, as well as how important monitoring your emotions are to your health.

I first came across this video a couple of years ago. I had just heard about Dr. Joe Marshalla, but didn’t know too much about him, or Repeatlessness. I had watched some of his Mind control videos, thinking (stupidly) that it may be on how people used mind control techniques on you (maybe I was going a bit into too much conspiracy theory mindset here, I wasn’t sure…).

This video is a clip from one of the mind control videos, and beautifully shows how the effects of emotions and feelings, specifically love and fear, has an effect on your overall physical strength.

What it simply shows, is how you emotions has a direct control over how strong, or how weak you will be. And of course, you emotions also help govern your immune system, so if you are going to be really negative, your immune system will suffer. If on the other hand you are going to feel and give as much love and compassion out, your immune system will be boosted (I once had the luxury of feeling compassion at work once, whilst sneezing and having a cold, and my cold symptoms temporarily alleviated).

It goes without saying that your emotions affect your behaviour, so by controlling or redirecting your emotional state, you behaviour will change in certain ways where you can become more productive at work, at home and start to make changes in your life.

These days, I try to exude as much love as I can. I’m not saying this is easy, as most of us have had stressful and hectic moments in our lives. Trying to exude love in the workplace can feel like trying to achieve the impossible to some of us, so we have to be careful not to be too emotional if we can help it.

But if we can, somehow, control our emotional state (which usually involves a change in perception), we can make small but significant changes in our lives. And as they always say, every little thing counts;-)

Watch the video and see for yourself. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

 

Having a Bad Day? Here Are 5 Unusual Reasons To Be Grateful!

As we go through more interesting times ahead, it is very easy to get pessimistic on what your life will bring. None of us wants to suffer, and we all want more love, life, energy and freedom, to enjoy the things that we treasure the most.

So, before you get cynical about life, and depressed on what has happened so far and what the future will bring, we look at the top 5 things to be grateful for. Please feel free to add to this list, your contribution is always welcome;-)

1 – You are alive, so that you can make changes and inspire

There is a reason you were born, so don’t forget it. You have a responsibility for making your life and others peoples life better, but here is the trick: make peoples lifes better first, and your life will become better naturally as a result of it.

For this reason, you have been blessed with a brilliant machine called a physical body, which can influence atomic matter. This is crucial, as by influencing this matter, you can make profound changes towards society and bring order to the chaos. Of course, there are machines everywhere, but you have an upper advantage with yours…your machine can heal, which leads us to…

2 – You have a great, self-healing body

There is a reason your body heals (for the most part), so you can keep in it for as long as possible, and make changes in your view of reality.

Of course, self-healing does depend on many things; your attitude and attention, your diet, how much sleep you have, as well as what tools you give your body to use to make healing possible (i.e. vitamins, nutrients, certain metals and minerals etc).

Even your emotional state has a big say in how your body is run, due to neuro-transmitters that are everywhere in your body, and essentially, ‘tune in’ to your immune system, as well as smart exercise, such as H.I.I.T.

Of course, that means that if you are a cynical, depressed, bitter, alcoholic individual, don’t expect to live in a healthy body for too long. On the other hand, a (fairly) happy, peaceful, excited human body can do great wanders.

It does go without saying, that this does also mean that you have to control your emotional state, not just your physical state, which means that you need to understand the power of your attention, which leads us to…

3 – Your attention is very powerful

You have been blessed with a great attention (you could argue that this is the interface of your soul), which allows you to do many great (and not so great) things.

You can use this attention to manipulate your internal imagery (some would call this NLP) so you can create long lasting changes and reduce phobias. You can use your attention to create healing in your body.

You attention is your connection to your subconscious, and if you have many out-of-body experiences, you will know that you have to hold and control your attention in order to move around other dimensions.

In fact, some non-physical experts say that holding an image using the power of your attention helps create a mold…a blue-print which helps the manifestation process into the physical.

Of course, the power of your attention span and your focus can only really be attributed to your higher conscious, which leads us to…

4 – You have a higher conscious/soul

Without your soul, you won’t have an attention span to begin with, and nothing has any meaning.

End of.

You can be cynical all you want, but the science does prove that there is a consciousness that connects everything and even goes beyond the normal space/time barrier that we hold as our reality.

So for us, that only really means one thing, and that is that you have a soul, which directs your life to bring you joy.

But there is only one condition: You must give it permission!

Seems kinda weird doesn’t it? I mean, who wouldn’t want to lead a lifetime full of joy, love and wander?

Well, your beliefs for one!

That is why changing your beliefs is so crucial, because by changing your beliefs, you change your perception, and ultimately your experience. Your beliefs act like a bridge to your experiences. So, change the design of the bridge, and you naturally change your experience.

And it gets even better, as due to your soul connecting everything in reality, once you can go beyond your EGO (some people would call this being mindful), you can increase your intuitive powers, increase your psychic ability, have obes, learn to remote view (sense distant events/places in advance) and even help influence people (for more information on remote viewing and remote influencing, click here).

Learning to listen, and then trust your soul is one of the required tasks in leading a better life. And you soul knows this, which is why it is itching to be re-discovered and is grateful for being in the physical realm to begin with, which leads us to…

5 – Be grateful for being grateful

Yes, not a typo, gratitude is that much of a powerful state of consciousness, that you should be grateful for having the ability for being grateful to begin with.

Being serious, if you truly understood the power of gratitude, you would try to be more grateful every day. It is a very powerful feeling, and can help significantly reduce past wounds and hurts, and even create new worlds and realities.

There is a reason why the feeling of gratitude is linked to the law of attraction, as it helps the manifestation process work more smoothly. Even if you don’t believe in such concepts, nobody can mistake the powerful feeling that gratitude has on the body. When done properly, gratitude can really help bring peace of mind and make it easier for you to feel more alive in the moment and help create a better day.

So next time you feel down in the dumps, and life looks bleak, try to remember that the very image of life looking bleak is used by the same tool that can make life look like heaven. You have a great tool and mentality to use, don’t waste it;-)

 

Heart Space and 4 Ways To Keep In It

Heart energy is not only a useful space to keep, but is crucial in helping you not only spiritually evolve but also keep your emotions in check. But what is heart space, and how do you stay in it?

Heart space is essentially keeping your heart chakra opened as much as possible, so you feel compassion and love for most of the day. This has numerous healing effects, as well as allowing you to focus and be more productive. It also helps things happen more in your favor, as you start to use consciousness more towards your benefit.

Keeping in your heart space also helps with reducing stress and helps with your intuitive abilities (which has it’s own rewards). Just imagine what it feels like to do everyday routine chores, but instead of being on autopilot, you simply ask yourself if you should be doing this chore, and you get a loving feeling instead.

Wouldn’t that be great, maximizing that loving feeling, so your day winds up being slightly different than you planned but you felt love and joy throughout?

That is what living in your heart space is all about.

It’s about healing and it’s about intuition. It’s about being guided by your higher consciousness and allowing your life to be easier as a result. Small things happen in your favor, and you simply begin to, ‘flow’ with your life.

Here, we talk about the 4 easiest ways of opening up your heart chakra, and keeping in your heart space. If you require more information about your chakras and their benefits, simply click here.

Mindfulness

To help stay with your heart energy, it is often best to be as mindful as much as possible. Being mindful is simply about paying attention to what is happening in this present moment, from the sounds you hear, to what you are seeing, to what is going on with your body.

Usually when you pay attention to the outside noise, or pay attention to your body, your mind-chatter will be reduced significantly, allowing you to feel more present.

When done repeatedly, this feeling can help open up your heart chakra, so you feel heart energy easily and effortlessly. Further repeated attempts can mean that when you become mindful, you also open up your heart chakra, due to increased life energy, or Qi in your non-physical body spreading (kinda like a 2nd reward for reducing your mind-chatter).

If you have issues with being mindful, and would like ways on which to achieve being present, click here for more info.

Listening to a compassionate song

This is a great one if you simply have to think, but are unable to focus that wandering mind.

All you have to do, is to think of a song that allows you to feel nice,warm and healed. A song which is very compassionate, and can even make you slightly tearful (but in a good way).

Next time you have to do a task, and you find your mind wandering from place-to-place (maybe due to the task not being mentally stimulating enough), you can, ‘select’ this song in your head, so you feel more heart energy around your heart chakra.

If you can, try and build up a, ‘song list’ of favorite compassionate tunes, so that if you struggle to remember the tune of one song, you can always fall back on another. This will also prevent another thing from taking place: Boredom of a tune.

Pretending to hug somebody

If you are struggling to feel love, one of the best ways of opening up your heart chakra is to quickly imaging someone that you are in love with, and pretend you are hugging that person from head to toe. This will allow the feelings of love to pass from your heart chakra, and will allow you to feel heart energy radiating out.

Once you get used to this energy, it will only be a matter of time before your heart chakra will open just by thinking of hugging somebody. And once you get good at it, you can simply open up your heart chakra, ‘on demand’ just by thinking of the feeling and letting the heart energy pour out.

Seeing yourself everywhere

This is one that isn’t always taught, but one of the best ways to feel connected to heart energy (and even help the law of attraction due to the reduction of your EGO) is to see yourself at, ‘one’ with everything.

Of course, one could argue (forgive the pun;-); how can you possibly feel what, ‘oneness’ is, if you don’t know what that looks like?

That’s a good question.

The easy answer is to pretend that everything around you, is a personal extension of your self.

So that Computer you can see, that’s you.

That wall behind you…yep, that’s you as well!

But don’t just look at it and half-heartily agree with the concept…actually imagine that you go well beyond your feet and hands, and actually imagine that your surroundings is you as well.

Of course, anyone who has had an out-of-body experience will testify to this,as when you float out of your body, you can literally float though walls, and even be part of the surroundings itself (although for most obe explorers, the excitement itself of leaving the body means that they would rather travel and fly away, such is the awesomeness of obes).

But the reality is, you are more than your mind and more than your body. In fact, your body isn’t just your own personal body, but everybody elses’s as well.

Initially, this may sound like a ridiculously stupid concept to get, and unless you are spiritually incline, will put this down to just plain stupidity.

And yet, when you think of oneness is, can you not think of a better way to describe your consciousness?

When you start seeing yourself everywhere, heart energy becomes a thing of the norm. You begin to question normal everyday dogma, and you start to feel healed. And because consciousness creates form, things will start to happen in your favor.

Keeping in your heart space is crucial to your psychological and emotional well-being. You become less stressed, and start to make life easier for yourself. Give it a go and let me know how you get on. I think you will like the journey.

 

Forgiveness and My 4-Step Process

Do you want to learn how to forgive? Are you stung by past hurt, or maybe you are stung due to your own actions (or lack there off)?

Forgiveness is a powerful tool and has many implications, but for some it remains that elusive concept that they could desperately get their hands on.

Why is that?

I strongly believe that forgiveness is not only a very personal thing (obviously) but is also unique to each and every individual. Or to put it another way, a method to forgive may work for me, but may not work for you.

I’ve been wanting to write an article on self-forgiveness for some time, yet lacked the tools or the mentality to do so.

The reason being was that I was slightly addicted to the dopamine levels that holding a grudge can release, and also for me to forgive, I would have to…you know…move on with my life. This my EGO couldn’t do very easily.

And yet, this was extremely stupid of me, because I was releasing bad chemicals into my body when I had moments of anger and rage. And they say that 4 minutes of rage can actually lower your immunity for around 5 hours.

So it begs the question, why would you want to become ill for?

With that in mind, I’m taking the plunge and writing my version on how to forgive yourself. Of course, this article mainly deals with self-forgiveness. I haven’t tried it on forgiving other people. I’m sure it would work just as ok, I’ve just yet (at this early stage in discovering this) used it to great length on other people, just on myself.

Of course, like any technique, it may work for you or it may not. What works for me, may not work for you. I’m not trying to slide in a crass disclaimer here, just simply stating that forgiveness is such a personal, unique issue, that no one technique is going to be perfect.

Having said that, I’ll give it may best shot here for you;-)

Of course, you could argue that you don’t need to forgive, that you are not ready to forgive.

If that is your case, good luck to you, because by holding onto your anger, you are releasing chemicals into your body which (by default) will dis-empower you (Click here for a video which demonstrates how emotions has an effect on your body). The trick, if you can, is to somehow let go.

And that is what ultimately forgiveness is; it’s the ability to let go. And letting go is vital for longevity and for a healthier body and mind.

But like I said, this method may not do anything, or may work wanders.

It’s as simple as that.

And I have to say this, but it does incorporate your soul as well, although by now I would like to think that if you are a regular reader to my blog, you should by now know that you do have a soul, and it is this soul that survives after what you call, ‘death’.

I hope you don’t make the amateur mistake in thinking that you are just body and EGO and that’s your lot. (if you want to, you can search online for either, ‘Remote Viewing’ or ‘Out-of body experiences’, then come back here to carry on reading this article;-)

I’ve got a pretty good idea that this will work for you, especially if there is some self-forgiveness that you need to do (I believe it should also work for forgiving somebody else as well, although I’ve only mainly used this technique for self-forgiveness, so you will need to try it against someone and let me know how it goes on).

But ultimately, self-forgiveness is a unique thing, and I’m under no illusion that the following technique might not be suited for everyone.

Still, give it a go and let me know how it goes on. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, a quick online search will highlight many other techniques online.

Try a technique and see if it works for you. Hopefully you’ll find one soon enough, and finally (with time) reduce and eliminate that anger that has been holding onto you.

1 – Learn from the mistake

To begin with, (especially for self-forgiveness) you need to learn from your mistake. No point in trying to forgive yourself if you are going to make the same mistake over and over again.

Ask yourself, ‘What has this mistake taught me?’. What variable needs to change, in order to grow from it. And if you genuinely cannot find a way to grow from it, you may need to experience it again and again until you do grow from it.

This is where a bigger perspective comes in, that you may need to take a really objective view on what’s happened (I say objective very loosely, as we are in a subjective multiverse, but that’s for another day). Try to get a grasp of the bigger picture, and this will make learning from your mistake a lot easier to grasp.

2 – Let go

Easier said than done right (don’t I know that one all too well!). Letting go doesn’t mean justifying what has happened, or agreeing with it from an EGO sense of self, but rather accepting what has happened.

Don’t forget, what you resist will ultimately keep persisting! Much rather let it go, and as a result, change the rule of your reality bubble.

Also, letting go has the added benefit in allowing you to move on and in some cases, even get an intuitive incline that what happened had to happen (i.e. it could be no other way). It does take a slight bit of psychic ability/ spiritualism to get to this mark, but with practice it’s very doable.

Of course, to really fully let go, you can go onto…

3 – See the spiritual perfection in the design

Tough one to grasp, especially when you deal with the crime biggies out there (but that’s for another day) but if you can somehow take a step back (be mindful if you have to) and look at the bigger picture, usually you’ll see that something good always comes out of it.

I know that when I have gone through some real shitty times, I look back and am glad it happened no other way. Mind you, this has not been easy, and even today I still feel a slight tinge of anger, still bubbling up. Of course, for you to make seeing the spiritual perfection easier to do, you require the forth and final piece of the steps…

4 – Find a thing in the experience to be genuinely grateful for

This calls for you to actually having to put the effort to go beyond EGO to reach this state of clarity.

For some of you, this will not be easy, and going beyond EGO may take a lifetime of work (I’ve heard of cases where people refuse to forgive what has happened, when they are quite old…talk about holding onto anger for decades after an event). The thing is, some people get a kick out of holding onto anger, due to the release of dopamine.

Sounds silly, but think of this. I had a belief about being loveless (I’ve since done some inner work to change this belief) and while going to bed I wouldn’t have an issue with love, but first thing in the morning I would fantasize about being old and being on my own.

One morning I decided to really analyze what was going on, why I felt compelled to have this fantasy. Lo and behold, I was addicted to it, because despite feeling crap, I actually felt sort of good and even righteous.

This righteousness kicks many people in the teeth, and nothing breaks down relationship and looses trust faster than being righteous (of course, if you have way too many close friends on your hands…;-)

I suspect that a few people who hold onto a grudge do so because they are addicted to that sensation.

While I can appreciate the argument behind this, you are poisoning your body due to the chemicals that are being released. Much better to be honest with yourself and start the healing process and move on with your life, than hold onto a grudge because at some deep level, it feels good.

Like I said in my opening remarks, forgiveness is a powerful tool to have, and while there is no one-size-fits-all approach to forgiving yourself (or somebody else), it has a great way of providing peace of mind and allows a new state of love to enter you about that situation.

This allows new chemicals to flood your body, and allows you to be in a more empowered sate of mind, so that achieving your dreams or goals becomes that little bit more easier.

 

Self-Esteem and Your Silent Killer

How do you raise self-esteem, so that you have a better image of yourself, and as a result, can lead a great life? After all, a poor self-esteem is probably one of the greatest killers out there.

It is the one thing that can cause so many problems, from entering and maintaining bad relationships, to even leading to drug abuse and addictions.

To date, around 85% of people suffer from self-esteem issues, which means that around 85% of people are not leading a great, healthy life.

It’s one of those things, that unless you know what it is, can even be affecting you and you wouldn’t even know it.

I know it took me over 10 years to realize that I had poor self-esteem, and yet, when I tried some of the techniques to raising it (which I’ll share later in this article;-), small and moderate things no longer bothered me.

That is, I no longer got offended or upset by things like insults or people giving me the cold shoulder (pretty good huh?).

This may not seem like a big deal, and on paper it doesn’t. Yet getting upset and offended can be responsible for drug addiction, porn addiction, relationship fights, breakdowns, and even violence (because criminals never hurt people when they get offended, do they…).

Of course, if you can avoid or trivialize that upset and offense by raising your self-esteem, you will go along way to help healing your ego, your self and ultimately help spread healing in the world.

But before we do anything (and in case you are wandering), lets do a quick recap of symptoms of low self-esteem:

  • Low opinion of yourself
  • Treating yourself badly
  • Unable to trust your own opinion
  • Over-the-top concern about what people think of you
  • Unable to accept compliments
  • Having an eating disorder
  • Poor social skills and poor communication
  • Having bouts of Anxiety, which can lead to sadness and depression
  • Unable to be assertive
  • Plus much more

The problem is, the solution for raising self-esteem isn’t an intellectual one. For example, it’s easy to say to someone that you suspect having poor self-esteem, that they look great and are doing a great job. Yet the truth is that their subconscious will automatically call out, ‘LIE!’, and you’re back to square one.

The authorities even tried this during the 1980’s, and found that it actually made the situation more worse.

The trick to raising self-esteem is two-fold (in my opinion). Firstly, we need to change the environment, and then your self talk. (if you are really bad that doing something like tidying up your room is a big, big chore, I would highly recommend mindfulness meditation first, just to calm yourself down, and then do a small 5 minute tidying task.).

Why are we affecting our environment first? Simply because for most of the time, we are the product of our environment.

So start off with doing something for 5-15 minutes, like cleaning the dishes or hoovering the house.

Something that won’t take too long and will make your place look more tidy. The beauty behind this is that your will also be priming yourself. That is, you will be subconsciously saying, ‘I am in a nicer, tidier house because I deserve the best’.

Priming is about giving a stimulus that influences your immediate and future thoughts and actions. Priming is very important when it comes to raising self-esteem and having a good life.

You can even try doing something that you love and are good at, like getting involved in a hobby that you love taking part in. I personally love sprinting (and have gotten good over the last 9 months;-), plus its also very healthy for you and gives you a pretty good body afterwards (not trying to show off, just saying;-). It also has the benefit of increasing your Endorphins levels as well, so you actually feel great. Two for the price of one!

When you have done some exercise so you can feel good about yourself, or if you are not the exercise type, done an activity which primes your brain into thinking that you deserve the best, you can move onto other stuff.

Becoming more organized and managing your time is another great way of raising self-esteem and also primes your subconscious as well. And I don’t just mean at home, but at work as well.

Having a clean desk tells your subconscious that you are very serious about your job, and that you deserve respect. Managing your time at work also says that you deserve to be labeled as a good employee (after all, tell me someone who is going to complain if you consistently hand in your tasks on time). Time management is priceless commodity, and goes a good healthy way in increasing your self-esteem.

Next, we come to our social circle and friends.

This is where the going can get a bit tough, because people with low self-esteem can attract similar people of low self-esteem (Of course, hopefully by the time you have tidied your place, got a slightly better body after a few months of exercise, and are becoming more of an efficient and professional employee, you should be attracting different type of people into your life;-)

Your friends can have a huge impact on your subconscious (especially if you are highly sensitive) so be very careful who you spend your time with!

Try to keep wingers and complainers at arms distance, and try to mix with people who support your goals, or who are generally positive in your favor. This will help you keep your energy from being drained away, allowing you more energy to complete tasks that can help you with your goals.

So now we have the environment re-defined, its time to get to the next level. I will do more articles on the following subjects (so please be patient) but if you have your environment slowly changing for the better, try the following for an extra does of healthy self-esteem;-)

Learn to say, ‘No’ to unreasonable demands, may it come from your boss (if you can) friends or your family

Learn to be more assertive. Not rude, but fair and polite. This will show people that you deserve to be listened to and to show respect.

Learn to change your self-talk. Of course, by this stage, this shouldn’t be a biggie by now, and learning to stop constantly criticizing yourself and seeking approval from other people will be soon a thing of the past.

Instead of, ‘I always get this wrong!’ You’ll be saying things like, ‘You’re good, I’m doing great at this…keep going’.

You get the idea.

This may sound weird at first, but after a while, it is surprisingly refreshing.

I remember when I had very low self-esteem, I was very passive and this caused me all sorts of psychological problems. I got hurt very easily, and was always to get people to like me and seek approval from them.

Nowadays, although I’m not perfect, I’m a little more assertive, I stand up for myself, and I am leading a (slightly) more tidier house.

Self-esteem can be a silent killer if you are not careful. Doing the above, while improving your diet and becoming more focused on your long-term goals, will not only help you become more successful, but you will feel better as well.