I was going to write an article about why bad things happen, from a spiritual perspective to someone.
I was going to write why it is important not to develop too much of a thick shield, where you start to avoid things at all cost to keep your self from getting hurt, and to instead learn the process of de-attachment.
I was going to write about what happens if you don’t have the correct perspective on a negative event, how it can conditionalize you further and how it can make you loose your friends and cause fear of abandonment issues.
I tried to research heavily into this.
I was reading articles from de-personalisation, to how to help yourself if you were a highly sensitive person (which I am).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind reading articles. In fact, I rather enjoy them (in most cases) purely because I get some much great content.
I love reading on how to understand myself more, and therefore how to improve my life for the better.
And yet, I’ve been reading about improving myself for almost 10 years, yet nothing much has changed.
I still live in pretty much the same place as before, with still the same neighbors, and still the same fears. Yes, my panic attacks and high anxiety have gone (hence this blog) but apart from that, everything is pretty much the same…
Which frustrates the hell out of me…where am I going wrong?
I know the answer…it’s dead obvious!
So, if I know the answer, why am I still feeling, ‘stuck’ in my life?
I know the answer to that one as well…
I recently tried to study a motivational NLP course (NLP is about understanding the language of your mind).
It had a lot of great info, and some cool NLP tricks which I tried somewhat successfully.
Has it completely worked?
Well, sort of…
I can get some of the annoying small things done, but nothing major…I’m still in a rut there.
Then what is it then?
As I was reading some great articles yesterday, I came across a fantastic article on the power of being underestimated…
It talked about some of the troubles Steve Jobs went through, from being sacked from his own company, to having cancer.
Yet he never gave up!
On top of that, I watched the 2011 film, ‘Bridesmaids’. It turned out to be a film that completely changed my perception on life.
It featured one of the main characters, Annie, going through a lot of hell with friendships and her job, before hitting rock bottom.
With the help of her spunky friend, Megan, she gets herself out of it.
But the scene that made all of the difference, was when Megan had a playful fight with Annie, who was wallowing in self-pity.
Megan was clearly annoyed that Annie was feeling sorry for herself, and wanted to snap her out of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I sympathized with Annie. Life can be tough, and feeling sorry for yourself is understandable. But there comes a time, when action needs to be taken.
Megan, on the other hand, was not about feeling sorry for herself…
She had been bullied when she was in high school, so understood how fighting for your life was valuable.
This scene hit me hard, and I knew where I had been going wrong with my life…
I hadn’t been fighting for it!
This is one of the few problems with spirituality. We teach you to keep your emotions in check, to be at peace with any piece of shit that comes in your direction.
We teach you to meditate, and we teach you not to judge on appearance. We also teach you how to be , ‘at one’ with the world…
Which is all very well and good (don’t get me wrong), but if you’re not careful, you end up being too passive for any action.
Sometimes, the very emotion that you can suffer a lot from can be very similar to the emotion of getting you out of a rut.
And that’s the problem there!
We teach you (accidentally, in most cases) to essentially numb your emotions.
You emotions is a powerful tool. I should know this all too well.
I used to suffer from rage (getting better now, as I know what’s going on). Yet, the dumbed down version of that is anger.
Anger, lashed out at someone (we all know), is a bad thing.
But you can use that anger for great effect. You can use it to, ‘fuel your way to the top’.
Essentially, if you can control it, it is a great source of creative energy.
When you finally start fighting for every moment of your life, and you take control, obstacles will come and go.
Yes, keep finding peace in between the madness and don’t loose yourself completely. But if you can control your inner anger, not only will you tap into a source of great creative energy, you will also make changes with your life very quickly.
I’m supposed to write an article about mothers on mothering Sunday, but I thought as a tribute, I’ll write this:
If you can finally direct your life in the way you want it, and make your mum proud, wouldn’t that be the ultimate mothers day present?
I’ll leave you to answer that one;-)