Confidence is something that I wasn't good at during parts of my early adult life.
Sure, I was a little bit cocky when I was a kid, but confidence was something that was being eroded away during my young adult years.
The weird thing was, I wasn't really that confident as a kid as I was always scared of my parents wrath.
So I was pretty much anxious as a kid…trying to play it safe, yet unable to really relax and enjoy my inner confidence.
On top of that, there was always bullying as well, which didn't help my social anxiety, as well as the fear of being in trouble with the law.
So needless to say, my confidence really wasn't that high, approaching my exams.
But then, disaster struck!
I found myself at rock bottom when I realised that I hadn't done well in my exams, and I was doing jobs that was not helping my mental health at all…
And on top of that, I was caving in into the seduction of online erotica!
This led to me developing learned helplessness, which also eroded my confidence even further.
That coupled with being subjected to gaslighting, and I was, at times, a nervous wreck.
Now, just a quick heads up.
Gaslighting is a term used when a person tries/succeeds in overwriting your reality.
A quick example…
You play with the TV remote. You play with it often, but you always put it back where it belongs.
Now, your partner wants to watch TV, but can't find the remote. They blame you, but you defend your innocence.
After a short argument, you find the remote. Your partner then settles down, tells you not to play with the remote again, and watches a TV show.
At the same time, you question yourself if you really did leave it in a different place, and the gaslighting is complete.
You probably did leave it in the correct place, but it's too late now, and now you believe that you could be at fault.
Your confidence in yourself begins to erode!
While this is a quick example, it shows the importance in the recognition of when you are being gaslighted. In some cases, it is accidental (Your partner didn't mean to gaslight you).
But in others, it's not!
And not only that, but you also realize that you can only make any real proper life change when, and only when, you get your confidence back (you think you can change your life for the better without confidence…good luck with that).
The problem with insomnia and anxiety, is that you can't wait to find a solution to work within a month. You need something that is going to work very quickly i.e within a few minutes, or as close as.
Your centre of vision should be slightly higher, and your head will be at a, ‘slight' angle (Note the word, ‘slight'. I don't want there to be any head or spinal injuries due to heads being tilted really hard backwards).
You should feel a slightly, ‘buzzy' feeling around your chest area. This is oxytocin being slowly released, the ‘feel good' hormone, similar to when you receive a hug.
Of course, you need do keep touching the same place for this to work, but after thinking about 3 events when you were super confident, you should have a good anchor in place (the correct term for this is called, ‘stacking anchors').
Now, I know there are people that will say that this is a load of crap, that confidence comes from competence in doing something, which is basically external validation from doing what you are doing correctly.
But if you ask me, while external validation is required for deeper states of confidence and correct technique, the above techniques are kinda like the spark to help get the confidence going.
After all, how the hell are you going to be remotely competent at doing something, if you don't have a tiny belief in yourself first (obviously we are talking about self-improvement here, and not flying a plane or driving a car, unless you have had lessons)!
Feeling stuck in your life, and require Motivation? Click here to watch a motivational video, with a twist!
If you have any problems/Issues, you can always email me at: support-at-healingbymind.com.
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