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The powerful reframe: How to make your life awesome again!

 

Sucks, doesn’t it?

This horrible situation that won’t leave your mind.

It nags at you.

Like a wasp, it hangs around.

You want to squat it, but you can’t…

It seems to dodge your very conscious.

And no matter what you do, you can’t seem to forget what has just happened.

It’s haunting you… you can feel it deep in your soul.

You can feel this sticky energy, almost ruining your life.

You want to get on with your life, yet you can’t seem to do much about it.

You seem absolutely powerless, vulnerable…

You can’t believe this situation has gotten hold of you, that it will haunt you forever.

That wasp will simply not be killed!

It’s not flying away, it’s buzzing, humming, getting louder at times…

No matter what you do, you are always distracted by it.

You want to get on with your life, but that wasp refuses to leave your conscious awareness.

And yet you can’t seem to get over this…

That wasp will not leave you.

You try to hit it…the wasp dodges.

And for some reason, you don’t seem to have enough power in your arm, in that thrust…

It’s almost like your arms have become weak all of a sudden.

And yet that wasp hovers there, looking at you, saying, ‘Go on, I dare you…’

And it’s winning!

And you hate that.

You hate yourself for letting it win so easily!

You want to get on with your life, and you know you can.

You’re more that this, and you know it.

And I’ve been there. I know what it feels like.

I’ve had situations where, I’ve tried to move on…

And I’ve got it absolutely wrong!

I felt crap and worse of because of it, because you’re told to, ‘just get over it’.

But without using the reframe, you may as well shove your head in the sand!

It ain’t much use!

But there’s a warning here…although reframes are quite simple to do once you get the knack of it, you may want to avoid them altogether…

Think about it!

You’ve heard about reframes, sure, but what about all that stubborn resistance, and justifiable resentment.

All the anger and pain…

Do you really want to let that go…I mean, doesn’t holding onto that make you feel righteous and powerful?

It’s ok if you’re not ready to move on. Go ahead, click the back button, and carry on with your life.

If you can…

Don’t worry, I’ll wait! Because I know that it probably won’t be too long before you’ll come back.

When you do come back, your future life could be waiting.

I say ‘could’, because this isn’t something you can do once and that’s it (well, I’ve heard of people who can, but they are not the majority 😉

This is something you have to keep reminding yourself to do, to achieve the beginning of peace.

This allows you to get your life back on track.

Still with me?

Great!

Lets get started.

A reframe is basically the ol’classic, ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ response.

But actually more practical and more real.

Here’s what I mean…

I like the above expression (quite famous if you ask me) but it’s very general.

It’s  too much, ‘don’t make this personal’ crap.

I don’t know about you, but when I encounter a bad situation it is very much personal whether I like it or not.

So to have some crap take over your life, and then for you to somehow take the above message home, is kinda like being given a slap round the face and told to, ‘grow up’.

Not good…

As much as the expression is good, it ain’t much use most of the time, because a specific situation requires a specific mindset to cope and overcome it.

This is where the reframe comes in.

It’s more personal.

It’s more specific, which your subconscious likes.

And in some situations, it can work slightly quickly as well.

The reasons being:

1- Allows you to improve mental clarity.

Be honest, when you have a fight with someone, the last thing you are when the fight is over is being mentally clear, right?

Exactly.

However, using the reframe will reduce the natural emotional negativity that comes from that particular situation, and helps you calm down.

which leads to;

2- Achieving a different perspective!

One of the greatest things about taking another perspective, is that you get to gain some of your peace of mind back.

Your brain isn’t in emotional foggy territory anymore, you’ve got clarity back (or at least a good part of it).

When I use the reframe, while I may be still emotional, I know that calmness isn’t too far away and that it is only a matter of time.

3- Helps reduce stress.

A reframe, when done correctly, can help reduce your stress levels. Note how I say the word reduce, and not eliminate.

I don’t believe in a second that you can eliminate a stressful event, just by changing the perspective.

And I have been in a fair few.

But you can reduce its effects on you, and in my opinion, that is what counts.

This is what you do.

You look at the bad situation, and you objectively ask yourself if you could be better without the result you were intending.

Let me give yourself an example.

There’s a lady that I liked once.

I mean, proper fancied her…that type of like

For about 2 years, I got to talk to her a few times, making tiny conversation (nothing serious) and generally keeping things polite (with a smidge of humour for good measure…little tip, make sure the joke is short and that she laughs…very important;-).

Well, wouldn’t you know it…she gets pregnant and is going to leave.

Dayumm…

I’m devastated.

I miss her…blah blah blah (you get the idea).

So, crap situation, but now lets look at the power of the reframe, and see how it woks in real life (and you’ll understand why I’m not hugely found of the classic expression, which is often said).

Ok, so I liked her

Woopy doo.

Big deal

So what…if anything was going to happen, it would have happened.

Nothing happened, so it wasn’t meant to be (maybe I wasn’t rich enough, or fun enough…who knows).

Secondly, would I want to swap places with her partner…not really.

Sure, having kids are good, but I have far too much on my plate to have kids…

So no big deal. 

Does this help me to become grateful…just about.

Is it specific…definitely.

Does this help me to move on with my life…just.

Can I retain any form of peace in my head…definitely.

The above is (obviously) a trivial example…but you get the idea.

The reframe is a powerful weapon to have on your arsenal of techniques. And when used correctly, can help the healing process that little quicker.

You can use a reframe in a bad job.

For example, if you realise that, 6 months in, you know you aren’t going anywhere and the job sucks, then you can use your reframe as a way of, ‘forcing’ positivity into your brain.

This can help you make some better informed decisions when you get home to, ‘plot your escape’.

You can also use reframes on difficult people or difficult situations regarding difficult people (another ol’classic).

Simply put, if you have had a difficult person to deal with, you can use the reframe to put yourself into a better mood and help yourself deal emotionally with the situation.

To give an example; say that someone was yelling at you for not doing a particular action (which you legit forgot).

Ok, you apologise and say that you won’t do it again, and you walk away, feeling emotionally battered and bruised.

You can use the reframe and say, ‘Well, at least that is over, and I know what they are like on a bad day’

While it does seem trivial, this type of thing can help you in the long run (does for me)

Of course, you have to be very honest with yourself, and this does require a bit of self awareness, which is why in my opinion, reframes and mindfulness meditation sort of go hand in hand.

When you become slightly mindful, you can see things more objectively, and you will also (in my experience) develop more compassion.

Not only to yourself but to other people (of course, you still need to practice this;-)

Let me know how you get on with reframes.

They are a powerful tool for your subconscious which helps with behaviour change and emotional control/re-direction.

This means that you will help yourself retain at least some peace of mind and helps you move forward with your life.

Feeling stuck in your life, and require Motivation? Click here to watch a motivational video, with a twist!

If you have any problems/Issues, you can always email me at: support-at-healingbymind.com.

If you would like to hear more from me, just send a blank email to awlist4329796 -at- aweber.com and I will put you onto my mailing list.

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