Sucks, doesn’t it?
This horrible situation that won’t leave your mind.
It nags at you. Like a wasp, it hangs around.
You want to squat it, but you can’t…
It seems to dodge your very conscious.
And no matter what you do, you can’t seem to forget what has just happened.
That wasp will simply not be killed!
And yet you can’t seem to get over this!
You try to hit it…the wasp dodges.
And you hate that.
You hate yourself for letting it win so easily!
And I’ve been there. I know what it feels like.
I’ve had situations where I’ve tried to move on…
And I’ve got it absolutely wrong!
I felt crap and worse of because of it. You’re told to, ‘just get over it’.
Without using the reframe, you may as well shove your head in the sand!
It ain’t much use!
And that’s not all…
Think about it!
You’ve heard about reframes, sure, but what about all that stubborn resistance, and justifiable resentment?
All the anger and pain…
Do you really want to let that go…I mean, doesn’t holding onto that make you feel righteous and powerful?
It’s ok if you’re not ready to move on. Go ahead, click the back button, and carry on with your life.
If you can…
Don’t worry, I’ll wait! Because I know that it probably won’t be too long before you’ll come back.
When you do come back, your future life could be waiting!
I say ‘could’, because this isn’t something you can do once and that’s it (well, I’ve heard of people who can, but they are not the majority 😉
Here’s what I mean…
This is something you have to keep reminding yourself to do, to achieve the beginning of peace.
Just imagine using a reframe when you need to, and then feel more at peace so you are able to focus once more on your goals and ambitions, without that wasp pissing you off!
Lets get started…
A reframe is basically the ol’classic, ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ response.
But actually more practical and more real.
Here’s what I mean…
The above expression, while useful at times, is very general.
It’s too much, ‘don’t make this personal’ crap.
You see my point right?
I don’t know about you, but when I encounter a bad situation, it is very much personal whether I like it or not.
So to have some crap take over your life, and then for you to somehow take the above message home, is kinda like being given a slap round the face and told to, ‘grow up’.
This is why a reframe is better!
It’s more personal.
It’s more specific, which your subconscious likes.
And in some situations, it can work quickly as well.
Here’s an example: Be honest, when you have a fight with someone, the last thing you are when the fight is over is being mentally clear, right?
However, using the reframe will reduce the natural emotional negativity that comes from that particular situation, and helps you calm down.
Which also leads to:
Achieving a different perspective!
One of the greatest things about taking another perspective, is that you get to gain some of your peace of mind back.
And that’s the thing…
Your brain isn’t in emotional foggy territory anymore, you’ve got clarity back (or at least a good part of it).
When I use the reframe I may be still emotional, but I also I know that calmness isn’t too far away and that it is only a matter of time.
And that’s not all, it helps reduce stress!
When you use a reframe correctly, your stress levels will be reduced. Note how I say the word reduce, and not eliminate.
I don’t believe for a second that you can eliminate a stressful event, just by changing the perspective.
And I have been in a fair few.
But you can reduce its effects on you, and in my opinion, that is what counts.
Here we go!
You look at the bad situation, and you objectively ask yourself if you could be better without the result you were intending.
Let me give yourself an example.
There’s a lady that I liked once.
I adored her to bits. Had a big crush.
For about 2 years, I got to talk to her a few times, making tiny conversation (nothing serious) and generally keeping things polite .
Well, wouldn’t you know it…she gets pregnant and is going to leave.
Dayumm… I’m devastated.
I miss her…blah blah blah (you get the idea).
So, crap situation, but now lets look at the power of the reframe, and see how it works in real life.
Ok, so I liked her
So what…if anything was going to happen, it would have happened.
Nothing happened, so it wasn’t meant to be (maybe I wasn’t rich enough, or fun enough…who knows).
Secondly, would I want to swap places with her partner…not really.
Sure, having kids are good, but I have far too much on my plate to have kids…
So no big deal.
Does this help me to become grateful…just about.
Is it specific…definitely.
Does this help me to move on with my life…just.
Can I retain any form of peace in my head…definitely.
Here’s the important part!
The reframe is a powerful weapon to have in your arsenal of techniques.
When you use them correctly, then you can help the healing process that little it quicker.
For example, you can use a reframe in a bad job.
If you realise that, 6 months in, you know you aren’t going anywhere and the job sucks, then you can use your reframe as a way of, ‘forcing’ positivity into your brain.
And not only that, but this can help you make some better informed decisions when you get home to, ‘plot your escape’.
You can also use reframes on difficult people or difficult situations regarding difficult people .
Simply put, if you have had a difficult person to deal with, you can use the reframe to put yourself into a better mood and help yourself deal emotionally with the situation.
To give an example; say that someone was yelling at you for not doing a particular action (which you legit forgot).
Ok, you apologise and say that you won’t do it again, and you walk away, feeling emotionally battered and bruised.
You can use the reframe and say, ‘Well, at least that is over, and I know what they are like on a bad day’
While it does seem trivial, this type of thing can help you in the long run.
Of course, you have to be very honest with yourself, and this does require a bit of self awareness, which is why (in my opinion) reframes and mindfulness meditation go hand in hand!
When you become slightly mindful, you can see things more objectively, and you will also develop more compassion.
Not only to yourself but to other people (of course, you still need to practice this;-)
They are a powerful tool for your subconscious which helps with behaviour change and emotional control/re-direction.
Imagine retaining at least some peace of mind and helps you move forward with your life.
Imagine feeling more emotionally in control, so you can make better informative decisions
Finally get rid of that wasp, and get your life back on track;-)
Try getting into reframes, and let me now how you get on.
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