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The AMAZING fast weight lost technique, which you are not using!

You know it's tough….

People seem to look at you. You can't seem to avoid their gaze.

It's not the look you are expecting, either. It's the look of disappointment. Maybe judgement.

Either way, it doesn't feel good. You want to feel good. You want to feel like a million dollars!

You deserve it. You're the main guy. You want people to look at you in admiration. You want them to look in envy.

You want to be the centre of attention. After all, you work hard, so that's fair!

What's not fair, is that you keep hearing the same ol' spiel…

‘For you to loose weight, you have to spend hours in the gym!!!'

I know what you are thinking…

Seriously? (who has time for that?)

The thought of dragging your heavy ass down to the gym, so that people can judge and gawk at you for hours is not even remotely sexy!

After all, you just want an easier way. Who doesn't?

Believe it or not, there is!

Because, thanks to the brilliance of High-intensity interval training (HIIT) you can now improve your cardiovascular fitness and burn fat quicker than ever before…

In just half the time.

HIIT is an interval training and has been designed to really push for fat burn, but be careful…

HIIT is  not for the faint hearted. If you're serious about burning calories and want to see some serious results right away, using HIIT workouts can be one fast shortcut to your destination. And that is NOT an exaggeration.

Using HIIT workouts requires concentration and determination. It involves discipline and a vision.

Your muscles, lungs and heart are going to be screaming for you to stop, but you need to keep going anyway. Whether you like it or not. (I'm being honest here)

Here's how to use HIIT workouts to improve your cardiovascular fitness and to blast some calories off your body in a single exercise session.

Always start with dynamic stretching and a warm-up.

There are many people who consider stretching and warming up as a bonus.

It's not!

If you plan on doing HIIT interval training workouts, this is essential!

The reason is simple…the risk of injury without stretching and warming up are quite high. Also, you won't be able to work out as hard if you're not properly warmed up beforehand.

You start off with a warm up period, and this can be by stretching your entire body for 3-5 minutes. This could be jogging on the spot, it could be a brisk walk outside.

Then get on the treadmill or stationary bike and exercise at a light or moderate pace for 5-7 minutes.

This will ensure that you get your blood pumping and your body is ready for the burn that you are about to experience;-)

The trick is to go at 90-95% of maximum heart rate.

HIIT workouts typically involve going at about 90-95% of your maximum heart rate. Use the heart rate monitor on your local gym's workout machines or your own heart rate monitor to gauge how hard you're working out.

I know what you are going to say…

‘How long should I go for?'

Great question!

While there is no perfect routine, the usual method is 2 minutes on, 1 minute off.

But this can vary (and does).

The ultimate goal is to push your body with this interval training until your body is so fatigued and tired that it'll need the rest of the day to recover from the workout. Yes, there is no sugar coating this, it's that brutal. (Do you want that body or not?)

This WILL get your body into a state called, ‘Excess Post-Exercise Oxygen Consumption.' (EPOC). To put simply, you'll be burning weight for the entire rest of the day.

Have a look at this video for a great explanation.

Now let's be honest… in the beginning, your ability to push yourself hard might not be that high. And that's perfectly ok.

However, as long as you get more practice with HIIT training, you'll be able to go longer and longer periods of time at this 90-95% heart rate.

Here are a few exercises that you can try for High-intensity interval training.

Cycling and sprinting are two of the most popular choices and will also improve your cardiovascular fitness. These two choices are simple to perform and easily get your heart rate up. Also, a lot of people find them to be the most enjoyable exercise for them.

If you would like the alternative route, you've got more fringe exercises that work quite well.

If you like boxing, you'll find that jump ropes work great for HIIT training. You can push yourself quite far using just a single jump rope.

There is another possibility,and that is rowing. Rowing equipment is underused in most gyms, but it really works out your cardiovascular system along with many major muscle groups. And it's fun!

Just to be clear, High-intensity interval training workouts isn't for everyone. However, with a proper warm up period, and a healthy dose of determination, you will get a body that you will be proud off!

However, if you like to lose weight faster by combining this system with an even simpler method in losing weight, which involves tea and sleep, please click here.

© Copyright – HealingbyMind.com – 2017-2020

 

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Using compassion with Goal Setting, and 5 ways to achieve it!

I will never forget those moments during my weekends!

I would come home, annoyed and pissed off with yet another poor week at work.

I would make myself yet another promise that this time, things would be different.

I would grab a beer, have a pizza, and faithfully tell myself that my life would finally begin on Saturday.

Of course, I would have yet another late night, far more concerned about my fun and entertainment than getting my life back on track.

Far more concerned about the life of celebrity gossip, rather than trying to make the actual effort of finding what I wanted in life, and actually drawing up a plan to make it happen.

Fun is more exciting

Gossip cheered me up.

I could look down at some celebs, rather than actually owning defeat and saying that I needed help with my life.

The web was a convenient distraction, and I loved it.

So you can imagine my horror that, come Sunday, still no changes!

But that was about to change, I told myself.

I quickly wrote down my top 10 things that I had to do, tried to prioritise them, and then set myself to work.

This worked well to a point, until I begin to loose interest

I didn't (at the time) find blogging fun. In fact, I didn't find anything I did fun at all.

And when I did take a break, and finally succumbed to watching videos online, I quickly became too self-critical to myself, resigned myself to defeat and carried on, indulging in the chocolate of late night video catching up.

Till about Monday, when I was back in work.

And then the following weekend repeated it self. Again and again.

I would be really self-critical, unable to re-capture the initial excitement of changing my life for the better, building a brilliant business, and making a positive impact in the world.

No, the usual doubts of, ‘this will never work' or, ‘I'm so useless at this' got louder and louder and louder. I got into a defeatist attitude, then a victim attitude.

Then I got depressed

Does any of this sound familiar?

All too often, we build ourselves up to create goals to actually achieve, only to fail a few times and give up.

But why is that?

Startling as it may seem, but the answer may surprise you.

You are being too harsh on yourself

And believe it or not, self-compassion is fast becoming proven to show that you are far more likely to achieve in your life if you are kinder than yourself that if you are critical.

Now, don't misunderstand what I am saying. I'm not on about being over indulgent, I'm talking about reducing and eliminating that critical self-talk that most of us have.

You see, we assume that if we are easy on ourselves, we won't get things done.

But evidence is proving the opposite.

In 2010, a study in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that college students experienced less distress with their goals, than students who had goals that were based in self-image (I.e. egocentric goals…more on this later)

It all boils down to how to achieve a goal

The classic approach is this…

It involves a vision, and then a plan. It involves discipline and it involves motivation (to get you going initially, then discipline takes over when the going gets tough). It also involves grit determination, and also the ability to fail and learn from your mistakes.

And this is where most people screw up, and where your inner talk really counts to either your advantage or dis-advantage.

Lets take dis-advantage first, and one which most if us do.

We set a goal (or a few), we achieve most of them.

And then we fail

Thanks to life's twist and turns, we get distracted, (or sidetracked), and then completely forget the original mission because, maybe, we are having too much fun online.

We then beat ourselves up over it (‘can't I ever finish anything, what is the point, pull yourself together!!!').

This looses the race, and we are back to square one.

Why?

Because we are not being fair to ourself

Would you speak to your friend like that?

Didn't think so!

So why would you speak to yourself like that?

And when you do, you get stressed, releasing the good ol' chemical cortisol into your blood, which prevents you from focusing properly.

This means that you find it difficult to complete your goal….

Need I say more.

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Now lets look at what you should be saying to yourself. (lets show the advantage of good inner talk;-)

So, same as before, you make a few goals, achieve only a few of them, but now the crossroads.

And this is where we are going to learn from our previous mistakes

Stop beating yourself up over it. Your only human, not a robot (contrary to what you may believe).

Take a few deep breaths, do something enjoyable for about 10 mins (no more!!!) and casually resume. If you have to, make a bargain with your own ego. (‘I'll finish this, only if I watch that video online for just 10 mins'… you get the idea).

Change your inner dialogue, so instead of a harsh dictator whip-lashing into action, you have a more gentle voice, nudging you in the right direction.

Sounds crazy, but this stuff actually works.

And you feel better because of it!

Promoting self-compassion with your inner self-talk helps turn your goals from ego centric to eco-centric.

Sound very similar, but are vastly different. Egocentric goals are purely for your self-image, and as a result, only you loose. Not a big problem, in and of itself, but it is a loose-loose outcome.

Sure, your attempt to achieveing that goal was to help yourself, but people were not going to be helped. Now you have failed, nobody wins.

Not lets compare that to eco-centric goals.

You have a goal for your self image, but you are very aware of how self-compassion plays a part, so you set it so even if you do fail, people still benefit.

Sure, you may not succeed as much, but seeing somebody else benefiting from your journey is also rewarding, so you feel better, not worst.

See the difference

By setting our goals as eco-centric rather than ego-centric, we are still helping our community so that if we we don't succeed (which, if done correctly, would be few and far between) other people are still helped.

So how do you improve your self-compassion, and get back on track when the going gets (inevitably) tough.

Here are a few suggestions to help you on your way.

* Realise you are not on your own

There is a good chance that that somebody has been here before and probably succeeded.

Don't misunderstand what I am saying here, I'm not talking about trivialising your problem. Far from it, trivialising important issues always does more harm than good.

I'm referring to realising that somebody has probably been where you have been and succeeded, despite the initial setbacks.

This type of thought process should be empowering, not disempowering.

* Realise that you have an array of tools on your side

Bear in mind that there is a lot of good information out there on the web (true, there is also a lot of crap out there as well, but I'm assuming you can tell by now if something sounds true to you), and the chances are that you have already learnt a great deal on your journey on self-improvement.

The trick is to take comfort in the tools you have in your treasure chest (For me, this would be NLP, EFT, Mindfulness meditation etc…).

For example, if you have trouble getting motivated to start your goal, you can do a quick 5 minute NLP anchoring technique, so you can touch on a certain part of your body to elicit the emotional state of motivation.

Obviously, this may wear off after a while, so you have to carry on with discipline.

Which leads me to…

* Use the 5 minute rule

I love this rule, as it is something that I do every day.

I use the 5 minute rule to help start a goal, knowing that there is a psychological principle which states that you once you start something you are passionate about, you will try to finish the task once you start it (aka The Zeigarnik effect).

Try it and see for yourself (you can thank me later;-)

* Make a bargain with yourself

Another trick is to spend 10 minutes of fun before resuming a goal, or make goals that incorporate fun so you don't loose out on enjoyment!

You can also try the trick in making a quick deal with yourself.

If you find that it is harder to get back on track, say that you are going to have fun for 10 minutes and no more.

Then, its back to work.

You will be surprised at how often you will finish a task by doing this.

* Be your own best friend

Making friends with your subconscious is a powerful thing to do!

Above all else, try to make friends with your subconscious. Realise that your subconscious responds well to positive encouraging imagery, tone of talk and emotion. So make peace with whatever distraction you have caught yourself being involved with.

By changing your inner talk to a more caring and kind nurtured spirit, you will find that most often than not you will go back to finishing your task and building a better ‘you'.

As you can see, using self-compassion is invaluable at setting goals and achieving them.

By changing how you talk to yourself, you can produce more effective goals, complete them more effectively and become more productive in your every day life.

By doing this, you will be more happier and stronger than ever before.

If you would like to find a way to communicate with your subconscious more effectively, I have reviewed an online course by NLP teacher Michael Stevenson, which is the NLP practitioners training video course (non-certification).

NLP is a great way to communicate with your subconscious, and this course offers great tips and techniques to get the most out of your day, including a way to produce very effective goals so you can get more stuff done. To read my review, please click here.

Till next time…

Julian.

P.S. Using self-compassion is often underrated, as we think that self-compassion is being over indulgent, but the research is promising.

By changing your inner talk and tonality to that of a kinder person, you will find that you will benefit in the long one. You will produce more goals, and actually begin to have fun achieving them.

A great way to do this is to have a better relationship with your inner self, or your subconscious. Your subconscious dictates 99.9% of your behaviour, and therefore making friends with your subconscious is an absolute must.

NLP is a great way to build a more friendly and effective relationship with your subconscious. To read my review on the NLP practitioners course, please click here.

 

Why Self-esteem without Self-compassion is useless, and 5 steps to improve it!

Imagine that you are driving to work in your car, talking out loud to your self that you are going to have a great day.

You keep reciting positive thinking affirmations to yourself.

Your desperate to try to raise your energy, at your attempt at getting into the perfect state of mind to really take on the world.

You've learn't hours of self-esteem literature, from articles to listening to podcasts.

You know the importance of self-esteem and its benefits, and know that you have a confidence problem that only low self-esteem can produce.

You know that by saying affirmations out loud and by remaining upbeat, you hope that somehow, you turn on a magic switch inside your head to make you more confident again…

As you walk into your office, you get yourself a coffee.

You try to get rid of that brain fog you have had since you have woken up.

The last few weeks have been super stressful.

Your sleep is feeling the brunt of it.

But this coffee tastes good, and you're starting to feel more confident as you start with the work.

As the first hour goes by, you begin to feel good about yourself.

You have turned a corner.

That life doesn't feel bleak after all…

Suddenly, your boss stands next to you, gives you an email, and asks you to explain why you sent this email to the wrong department, and crash…

The confidence has gone again.

You feel stupid and look sheepishly at the email…

You fumble in your mind a good excuse as how you can make a simple dumbass mistake.

But that brain fog hasn't lifted yet and you still feel a bit hazy…

You mumble your sorrys, and your boss walks away.

You feel like crap!

Your confidence has gone and you wonder if this self-esteem is all a load of BS…

This is the current situation for many people who read their fair share of self-esteem stuff, and who know that increasing their self-esteem will help their lives significantly.

However, trying to increase your self-esteem for some people, can not only be a fruitless task, but can also be very unhealthy for you!

I know what you're thinking…

‘Seriously?!?'

Yeah, I know.

This is a funny old pill to swallow.

And its a funny old pill to swallow because it smacks the complete opposite of what you have been taught since a kid.

You see the thing is…

This self-esteem stuff can be kinda overrated

Despite a huge self-esteem movement that was started in the late 1970's.

The whole purpose of increasing self esteem was to help ones correct perspective of ones own abilities and talents.

You see, self-esteem is as we all know, is a bit of a big deal.

Without it, you're screwed

But here's the real pincher…with too much of it, your kinda screwed as well.

Yes.

Really!

You wanna know why?

Because self esteem once you have it, has a notorious tendency of being knocked off if you make even by a small mistake.

And this is especially true for those really sensitive souls

(myself included)

I'll always remember the moment when I was playing Badminton a couple of years ago.

I wasn't great, but I wasn't too bad either.

I won most of my games.

I would loose a few games, but they were fairly close ones, so I didn't mind loosing, and I always learn't something new.

That was until I played a few games where I lost dramatically.

It completely shattered my confidence levels.

I began to work almost too hard, trying to make up for that fact that I thought I was a terrible player.

I ignored the fact that I was winning most games before this setback, but it was to no avail.

Week after week, I would try to really focus playing my game. Trying to really get the shots accurate.

But after a while, I got really super stressed out and even frustrated that things didn't seem to go my way.

I even began to loose interest in Badminton, because winning breeds motivation, and that was practically gone.

What I hadn't realised, was that my self-esteem had taken a battering, and I didn't even now it!

And this is the thing about self-esteem.. .

Great when the going is good, but when the going gets bad, it goes ugly!

Talking about making it tough for yourself.

And don't get me started on bullies who, studies say, have ample self-esteem.

Do you really want to be known as a bully.

Didn't think so.

So self esteem is bad…Yes?

No!

Not quite.

It's actually a bit tricky…(I know what you're thinking, ‘here we go…')

Increase your self esteem.

Sure, that will help your life like wonders!

The trick is to do it indirectly.

‘Ahhh', you say, ‘the plot thickens‘…

It sure does!

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Let me be absolutely clear before I carry on. Self-esteem is not a bad thing, without it, you're in trouble.

The problem is that most people don't know how to increase it to a healthy level, and it gets to dangerous proportions that can cause you to loose your head at the most inappropriate moments (think of some celebrities).

The thing about self-esteem is that, no one person has a self-esteem gauge, that guides them when it gets too low or too high.

So we have a mini dilemma…

How to increase the self-esteem naturally, but without danger of basically acting like a dick towards people when it is too high (and we all know people who are assholes due to thinking they are special).

Enter a new weapon for our EGO, and that is self-compassion (and thanks to Kristin Neff for this insight)

Compassion basically means to have sympathetic concern for the sufferings of other people, therefore self-compassion means to do this but to yourself…

i.e being kind to yourself!

Seems kinda strange to think that having compassion helps with your self-esteem, doesn't it?

Well, not really.

Remember what I said about one of the dangers of increasing self-esteem, that you can get knocked down very easily due to making a dumbass mistake?

You feel like shit right?

Well, you may do for a tiny bit, but it won't be for long.

When you initiate self-compassion, the bad feelings will subside.

‘So what?'

Well, it means that you'll begin to recover easier and more effortlessly than ever before, allowing you to feel better again.

And feeling better means less stress.

Less stress means more relaxation, which means more focus and productivity, which means your mission in whatever you are doing gets accomplished (without you tearing your hair out at the slightest mistake).

You get the idea

Not only does it helps self-esteem increase to healthy levels (and no more…very important) it can also lead to optimistic thinking. Not to be confused for positive thinking.

Quick explanation needed here…

Positive thinking is what is currently being taught at the moment. I should know because I buy stuff myself that helps with positive thinking.

Nothing wrong with positive thinking, but all it does in most cases, is to help you feel good over a bad situation.

What's wrong with that, you may ask?

Nothing really…

But feeling good isn't going to really help you achieve your goal.

It just makes you come to peace with your past bad experience (if you're lucky).

Which is ok in and of itself, but wouldn't you want to be at peace as well as still be on your path to attain your goal?

Let me give you an example.

You go to a job interview. You try your best, but the interview doesn't go very well. You don't get the job.

Positive thinking says, ‘Well, I wouldn't want to work with them anyway, they were so unprofessional, I'll apply for a company that is more better!'

READ: you don't learn much, but you make peace with your past… that's it.

But lets now add a twist to this thought process

Lets try optimistic thinking.

‘Well, the interview was poor… where was I at fault, because for them to interview me must mean that they liked my CV, so my EGO got in the way. What do I need to do to make the next one better and get the job?'

Do you see the difference here?

Both very similar, and both bring peace to your bad experience. But which one is most likely going to get that job you need?

The 2nd one.

And that's my point.

Using optimistic thinking allows you to make peace with you past, as well as a more realistic practical chance to still go for the goal that you are looking to attain.

Self-compassion helps do this

When you help heal the past, the imagery in your mind isn't so rampant, which allows a more natural mindfulness to take place…

Which means that you can become more relaxed and focused.

Or to put simply, combining self-compassion and optimistic thinking allows you to lead a better life, because you will be more healthier, which means you can have more fun with yourself, your family and ultimately, your loved one.

Pretty good huh;-)

So, how do you increase your compassion?

Well, I've discovered 5 ways.

Here goes;-)

Mindfulness Meditation

This is abut paying attention to the, ‘here and now', or the present moment.

Quite simply, being alert to your current state of being. There are many ways to being present, but the best I have found is to listen to the ambient noise outside. There are others… peripheral vision, focusing on your breath etc…

Loving kindness meditation

Another type of meditation, but this time, you do a series of steps which helps you come to terms with someone that has aggrieved you.

You will need to visualize this, but can be amazingly effective at helping you come to terms with the past which can make it easier for you to feel compassion.

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Changing your inner story

Often, it is our inner story and beliefs that can caused us to loose our head, by a poor belief or a missasumption.

To change you inner story, one needs to change the images in your head.

You need to make this a daily ritual.

This won't be easy, as your subconscious will humour you at first…

Keep practising

For example, keep saying to yourself that you are human and will make some mistakes, and you will learn from them.

Try to quickly imagine yourself learning from a common mistake you make, and feeling good about it.

Then try to imagine that somebody has made a mistake against you, but you quickly forgive them.

Oneness

Sometimes, we just need a good ol hug from someone, like a shoulder to cry on.

But getting a hug when you need one happens at the most inappropriate times.

So we have to do the next best thing.

See the oneness in everything to help open up our Heart Chakra instead (those vortices that you have with your body)

Still with me…

Good!

Put simply, you are consciousness (duh…) but what you may not know is how to feel it.

To do this, simply imagine yourself as part of everything else…your arms and legs extend to not just your arms and legs, but everything around you (of course, for all those out of body explorers out there, this will seem like obvious info).

This does sound wacky, but believe it or not this simple exercise can work wonders for your heart.

This allows you to even help heal a bad situation, and increase your compassion.

Golden Shield of Protection

If you are particularly sensitive, and feel the negative energy of other people easily, this can be a great tool to help yourself and increase your levels of compassion.

Just imagine a golden shield swirling around you.

You don't have to make a strong visual out of it (just a few golden specks acting like a shield will suffice) but this may prove pivotal in helping you feel more at peace, which can lead to an increase in self-compassion.

By increase your ability to feel compassion for your self, you will indirectly increase your self-esteem to more healthy levels, whilst giving other people slack.

By doing this, you can feel more healthier, happier, and become more focused in your day-to-day running of things, enabling you to get things done, so you can have a more productive, healthier and happier lifestyle.

But I've got more…

How would you like to find an easy way to meditate, so you can feel more healthier?

What would you say if I told you that you can do this with a CD player and some good headphones.

Basically, there are 2 courses that will help you meditate deeper than every before.

This stuff is pretty powerful

So powerful, that you can go into very deep states of meditation, so you can increase your intuition as well as some other cool stuff.

By increasing your intuition, you can get a better chance of noticing your gut feelings, as well as better ways to get creative which can help with your life style.

I've even written a review for you, so you can get my honest opinion on the courses.

Simply click here to read the review.

Hopefully you won't regret it;-)

Yours

Julian

P.S. Self-esteem, although is required to help you achieve success in most areas of your life, can only be increased indirectly. If you try to increase it directly, you may be guilty of over doing it.

This can lead to other problems.

The trick is to do it indirectly, via self-compassion.

By practising self-compassion, you achieve a more healthier level of self-esteem, but you also acknowledge your weaknesses, and instead of feeling bad about them, simply accept them as part of your learning curve.

This allows you to let them go and can help you become a more happier and fun person.

Mindfulness meditation is a great way to improve compassion. If you wish to learn to meditate very deeply, please read my review of the ARVARI course by clicking here.

 

Self-Esteem and Your Silent Killer

How do you raise self-esteem, so that you have a better image of yourself, and as a result, can lead a great life? After all, a poor self-esteem is probably one of the greatest killers out there.

It is the one thing that can cause so many problems, from entering and maintaining bad relationships, to even leading to drug abuse and addictions.

To date, around 85% of people suffer from self-esteem issues, which means that around 85% of people are not leading a great, healthy life.

It's one of those things, that unless you know what it is, can even be affecting you and you wouldn't even know it.

I know it took me over 10 years to realize that I had poor self-esteem, and yet, when I tried some of the techniques to raising it (which I'll share later in this article;-), small and moderate things no longer bothered me.

That is, I no longer got offended or upset by things like insults or people giving me the cold shoulder (pretty good huh?).

This may not seem like a big deal, and on paper it doesn't. Yet getting upset and offended can be responsible for drug addiction, porn addiction, relationship fights, breakdowns, and even violence (because criminals never hurt people when they get offended, do they…).

Of course, if you can avoid or trivialize that upset and offense by raising your self-esteem, you will go along way to help healing your ego, your self and ultimately help spread healing in the world.

But before we do anything (and in case you are wandering), lets do a quick recap of symptoms of low self-esteem:

  • Low opinion of yourself
  • Treating yourself badly
  • Unable to trust your own opinion
  • Over-the-top concern about what people think of you
  • Unable to accept compliments
  • Having an eating disorder
  • Poor social skills and poor communication
  • Having bouts of Anxiety, which can lead to sadness and depression
  • Unable to be assertive
  • Plus much more

The problem is, the solution for raising self-esteem isn't an intellectual one. For example, it's easy to say to someone that you suspect having poor self-esteem, that they look great and are doing a great job. Yet the truth is that their subconscious will automatically call out, ‘LIE!', and you're back to square one.

The authorities even tried this during the 1980's, and found that it actually made the situation more worse.

The trick to raising self-esteem is two-fold (in my opinion). Firstly, we need to change the environment, and then your self talk. (if you are really bad that doing something like tidying up your room is a big, big chore, I would highly recommend mindfulness meditation first, just to calm yourself down, and then do a small 5 minute tidying task.).

Why are we affecting our environment first? Simply because for most of the time, we are the product of our environment.

So start off with doing something for 5-15 minutes, like cleaning the dishes or hoovering the house.

Something that won't take too long and will make your place look more tidy. The beauty behind this is that your will also be priming yourself. That is, you will be subconsciously saying, ‘I am in a nicer, tidier house because I deserve the best'.

Priming is about giving a stimulus that influences your immediate and future thoughts and actions. Priming is very important when it comes to raising self-esteem and having a good life.

You can even try doing something that you love and are good at, like getting involved in a hobby that you love taking part in. I personally love sprinting (and have gotten good over the last 9 months;-), plus its also very healthy for you and gives you a pretty good body afterwards (not trying to show off, just saying;-). It also has the benefit of increasing your Endorphins levels as well, so you actually feel great. Two for the price of one!

When you have done some exercise so you can feel good about yourself, or if you are not the exercise type, done an activity which primes your brain into thinking that you deserve the best, you can move onto other stuff.

Becoming more organized and managing your time is another great way of raising self-esteem and also primes your subconscious as well. And I don't just mean at home, but at work as well.

Having a clean desk tells your subconscious that you are very serious about your job, and that you deserve respect. Managing your time at work also says that you deserve to be labeled as a good employee (after all, tell me someone who is going to complain if you consistently hand in your tasks on time). Time management is priceless commodity, and goes a good healthy way in increasing your self-esteem.

Next, we come to our social circle and friends.

This is where the going can get a bit tough, because people with low self-esteem can attract similar people of low self-esteem (Of course, hopefully by the time you have tidied your place, got a slightly better body after a few months of exercise, and are becoming more of an efficient and professional employee, you should be attracting different type of people into your life;-)

Your friends can have a huge impact on your subconscious (especially if you are highly sensitive) so be very careful who you spend your time with!

Try to keep wingers and complainers at arms distance, and try to mix with people who support your goals, or who are generally positive in your favor. This will help you keep your energy from being drained away, allowing you more energy to complete tasks that can help you with your goals.

So now we have the environment re-defined, its time to get to the next level. I will do more articles on the following subjects (so please be patient) but if you have your environment slowly changing for the better, try the following for an extra does of healthy self-esteem;-)

Learn to say, ‘No' to unreasonable demands, may it come from your boss (if you can) friends or your family

Learn to be more assertive. Not rude, but fair and polite. This will show people that you deserve to be listened to and to show respect.

Learn to change your self-talk. Of course, by this stage, this shouldn't be a biggie by now, and learning to stop constantly criticizing yourself and seeking approval from other people will be soon a thing of the past.

Instead of, ‘I always get this wrong!' You'll be saying things like, ‘You're good, I'm doing great at this…keep going'.

You get the idea.

This may sound weird at first, but after a while, it is surprisingly refreshing.

I remember when I had very low self-esteem, I was very passive and this caused me all sorts of psychological problems. I got hurt very easily, and was always to get people to like me and seek approval from them.

Nowadays, although I'm not perfect, I'm a little more assertive, I stand up for myself, and I am leading a (slightly) more tidier house.

Self-esteem can be a silent killer if you are not careful. Doing the above, while improving your diet and becoming more focused on your long-term goals, will not only help you become more successful, but you will feel better as well.